New Teams, New Teammates

In Paul Simon's classic song "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" one particularly imaginative and hurtful method that he didn't cover was telling your lover you're splitting up with them fifteen months in advance and then carrying on as if nothing's happened.

And yet that's basically what Fernando Alonso did to Flav and to Renault immediately after he delivered them both titles in a loved-up, landmark season: jumping ship to McLaren and causing no end of mayhem in the ongoing "Kimi to Ferrari?" saga.

Whilst you'd have thought that Ferdy's experience at Renault in 2006 might be a bit weird following such a shocking decision, that's really not happened at all: the team have resisted doing things like put drawing pins on his seat and carried on like the utter professionals they are.

Alonso too, has managed a serenely committed start to the season, and it's not surprising that it's over at McLaren - where things remain unclear and uncertain - that the atmosphere seems perpetually wretched and stressed.

Ron Dennis's problems are of his own making of course... who's staying: Kimi or JPM? Or neither??? You'd want to think that he's going to try and keep the Kimster and have himself another uber-pairing like that of Prost and Senna.

But it's worth bearing in mind that their relationship was self-destructive to the extent of taking each other out in Japan in 89. And combos of genius can end up even worse: witness the tragic loss of Gilles Villeneuve in pushing his competition with Didier Pironi beyond the limit in 1982.

It's unrealistic to expect complete harmony between team mates in such a highly ambitious sport but some combos do work pretty effectively, particularly when a certain level of difference in ability, stature and priority helps keep things ordered for both team and drivers.

And whilst gimp-like doormats actually end up making the team look stupid and taint the reputation and the achievements of the "star" driver - yes, we're talking Schumi and Rubens here - a solid first and second driver relationship is still great when it works.

So how can McLaren dispel the clouds of doubt and gossip and rumour; of sulk and counter-pout? Simple... Get it over with. Ron: decide! Kimi: decide! Talk to each other and talk to us. Get done with the lawyers and get on with the sport.

Raikkonen must still be wondering though, how Ron could possibly love someone else enough to spoil his singular role as the McLaren wonderboy (especially after giving them so much for so little reward). It's no wonder divorce lawyers are such busy people...