If you watch that World Wrestling nonsense, or if you're lucky or old enough to remember the wrestling on World of Sport (where old ladies used to try and knock the villainous Giant Haystacks unconscious by throwing their mules and handbags at him) then you'll see where I'm headed with this...
It's obvious that the WWE wrestling is utterly faked; with its catcalling, squabbles, blatant baddies and underhand fighting (painstakingly scripted and staged to make up for a thuddingly dull sport) - and it's gradually dawning on me that F1 must surely be faked too.
When I say F1 is faked, I don't mean in the sense that the moon landings were faked - as if it's some huge deception. No, I simply mean it's all staged and made up for our entertainment like wrestling. Perhaps it was starting to really go off in the mid nineties, and Bernie decided that something had to be done.
And so, after decades of top notch sport and sportsmanship, it was transformed into the most widely broadcast comedy farce in the world. Still convincing enough to hoodwink the casual observer, but for those who dig any deeper, clearly contrived and unreal.
Consider the evidence: for a start would a real sport shoot itself in the mouth with both barrels like F1 did at Indy 2005? Of course not: that would be even dumber than a Vin Diesel movie. It's just not possible - it's only explicable as a huge plot twist.
Likewise when Ferrari threw a wobbly about tyre regulations in 2003, causing the FIA to change the rules and the press to laugh openly at Ross Brawn in a press conference... Again, clearly impossible. Just another set-piece drama to reverse flagging ratings.
As was Schumi's Monaco parking incident this year. Obviously. Nobody is that poorly skilled. My cats can drive better than that, and they don't even have opposable thumbs or a super-license. No F1 driver - or World Champion - could possibly do that by accident; and doing it deliberately could only be a spectacularly inept attempt at cheating, or to do the bidding of F1's puppetmasters and grab worldwide attention just as the season was getting really boring.
Another giveaway is when you notice actors on the grid. Not Sly Stallone, Michael Douglas & Co freeloading at GP weekends, but when they're actually driving the cars... Anybody who's been paying attention knows that Scott Speed isn't real. The plainly fake name aside, he's obviously actor Sean William Scott playing an angry airhead. Who can't drive.
And Rubens Barrichello: clearly the bloke who plays Frasier. Who unsurprisingly spent the first half of the season driving like a middle-aged talk-show host. Ever wondered why you never see Nick Heidfeld and Hayley Joel Osment in the same room? Exactly.
So where next for F1 - The Movie? Well in a very dull, accountancy-based heist plot, Bernie seems to be making off with all the money. And in general, Max Mosley continues to play Doctor Evil and threaten the sport with all kinds of ludicrous deaths. The rest is just processions and politics.
The best outcome has to be that it's not like WWE, but more like Dallas: we wake up and find it's all been a dream, Ayrton Senna's still about and they didn't ban turbos.
However if, god forbid, I'm wrong and this IS all real, then what kind of a sport are we all watching?
Jul 31, 2006
Jul 25, 2006
Exclusive Johnny Herbert Interview
EXCLUSIVE: Motormouth caught up with Johnny Herbert; one of Britain's F1 greats and now Midland F1's Sporting Director for a wide-ranging chat about Midland, 2008, driver moves, regulations, technology and much, much more. This article appeared in many different shorter TV versions on Teletext.
Some Communications Centres in the blazing hot Magny Cours paddock are always busy, like Renault and Ferrari; buzzing with the constant churn of the media, the wealthy and the usual fair-weather friends that such vast success inspires.
Others, like McLaren with its hastily posted "Invited Guests Only" signs - clearly caught a bit on the back foot by the departure of Juan Pablo Montoya a day or two earlier, would wish to be less busy than usual.
But it's perhaps unsurprisingly in the Midland F1 Communications Centre, the least pretentious and willy-waving of all in the paddock, that communications are most friendly, helpful and effective.
Ron Fine, the team's affable Communications Director, pulls Johnny Herbert, Midland F1's Sporting Relations Manager, from the vast, deep grey trucks that back onto the garages at a moment's notice, and we wander down to their hospitality suite to settle down in the shade with some cool drinks for a chat.
Herbert turns out to be possibly the nicest man you might ever meet; immediately friendly and frank - and he's also someone whose previous life as a driver gives him a great perspective on the sport's intrigues, cycles, politics and relentless technological march.
I ask how the Sporting Relations Manager role suits him - looking after a whole team, when previously as a driver it was all just about himself: "Oh, it's still all about me..." he laughs, "No, when you're this side of it you want the best for the whole team, to get the best from both cars. I'm enjoying it - I'm still learning it and learning how the whole thing evolves and the way the whole thing works around the way the team puts things into practice."
"Originally it was more to do with the media side of things, because of how the rumour mill was churning (surrounding Jordan in 2005), so I was brought in to be the friendly face for people to talk to, but it did get quieter and much more together."
The media role persists, with ongoing stories about the future ownership of the team he admits: "Even now, there are rumours about where this place ends up, but it's really a much calmer atmosphere within to be honest. The original idea was to do very much the press side of stuff, dealing with the drivers and the sponsors; the easy stuff... but now there's a bit more the engineers, the ongoing stuff and what's going on with the FIA towards 2008 and so-on."
I ask if that fuller role is more interesting than just the media side of things for an ex-driver: "Oh yes, but I wouldn't have wanted to just dive straight in, because I hadn't got any experience in that area. Hopefully it'll get more in-depth and there'll be more of the running of everything the way it needs to be."
Herbert originally joined the team last year, and a lot has happened since then... "From the Jordan era to this year it has changed very quickly - I thought it might take longer to shake that off, but it hasn't - and everybody's very dedicated to it, and of course there's all the rule changes which everybody's talking about at the same time. You'd think (the rule changes) would benefit the smaller teams such as ourselves, but of course they're not actually settled yet, so we don't know quite what they're going to be - we've got a good idea but we don't know exactly so we'll have to wait and see."
I ask where he hopes Midland will be by the end of this year, and where they hope to be next year? "We've come from a position where we had no chance of getting through to the second round of qualifying to now hopefully getting that consistency there that we do qualify both cars in that second round."
Which gives some room tactically as you look to the race itself...
"Oh yeah - exactly. We still need to improve our race pace... we've seen it sporadically but we need to see it more consistently. To compete against the others that's what you need: that's probably the biggest thing we need to work on for the moment."
So, for 2007? "Once we can get that race pace side of things going, and we know what is happening with F1 in 2008 basically then we can structure ourselves in a way that aim towards 2008 really..." So that ideally puts you in a position to then develop for both 2007 and 2008 simultaneously?
"Yeah, exactly - sure. I think 2008 will be the main one because of the amount of change."
One area where Johnny Herbert has a naturally deeper awareness of sensitivities and dynamics is in the nurturing of the two Midland drivers; Monteiro and Albers. What's it like to look after and push two competing talents working for the same team as well as for themselves? "The competitiveness between the drivers is always, I think, a positive thing because I think it just lifts the drivers, which lifts the team, and which helps everything work much, much more efficiently. But we're not looking at winning or podiums of course; we're looking more at the latter part of the points."
Whilst his approach to inter-driver competition seems healthy, does he find the Red Bull approach of threatening drivers a bit destructive by comparison? "It's destructive, but I suppose there are certain points that you have to get to if things aren't going your way - Red Bull for example, they expected a lot more, but they haven't got it. The Toro Rosso has probably effectively started to out-drive the Red Bull cars, and then the pressure's on Red Bull, the drivers, the engineers and everybody else to get it together to be able to keep them behind, so then the pressure does up itself. But then that's Formula One."
The Midland F1 drivers, the odd tangle aside, seem to have been quietly doing okay so far... "Yeah, they're doing okay really. They have helped development, and the car has gone forward. So the guys back at the factory have all done the aero work and put it on the cars, the drivers have given their input, and it has been really positive - and it has got better. It's not easy to close the gap on the big guys, but we've been able to do that - we're not up their exhaust pipes of course, but we have got closer."
Herbert's main concern for his drivers is not losing the pace from qualifying to the race itself: "As I said the only thing we need to do is to get the race pace better; and that's down to the drivers being able to get the best from the car - if they can get the best from the car in qualifying and get it into the second phase of qualifying then I don't see any reason why they can't have a better race pace."
If they can sort that, then it looks to build a virtuous circle: "It's good for their careers, it's good for the team, it's good for all of us."
Knowing what a great F1 driver Johnny Herbert was, you can't help wondering if he misses it a bit... I ask if he's driven the Midland M16: "No... though actually I almost did the other week!" he says, referring to almost sitting in on a recent test session. "Tiago had a problem with his neck, and Christijan had a problem with his back. He eventually did do the day, but they did phone me up to see if I was sitting around throughout the day, which would have been quite an interesting one, It was close. My comeback was close!" he laughs.
It's inevitable that I'd also want to ask Johnny about his own time as a driver. I ask what his favourite cars were, not necessarily because of having taken wins in them, but more because of character and driveability... "Well, I was very lucky and fortunate in that I got the end of the turbo era: I drove the Benetton Ford and the Lotus Honda - and they were good. They were very 'brute force' power, they had about 950 to 1000 horsepower when I drove them, but then of course you had the big tall wings, the big front wings, the big fat tyres - they were really awesome to drive."
Were they really very different to drive, as they always look like they got thrown around a lot more? "Yeah; a different style completely because it was all more or less 'brake very very late, get round the corner, get the turbo spinning again, short-shift through the gears and get going again - they were pretty awesome things: I would say that was the best thing ever. But the early nineties were good as well, because we still had the big tyres and wings and everything else and they were really good too."
Johnny Herbert's F1 driving career lasted several years, during which - as ever - the sport was in huge transition. And although he cites cars like the old Lotus as a favourite, he was still competing in cars such as Saubers and Stewarts, which have a lot more in common with today's cars.
By the time Johnny retired from driving, the cars were designed and built to parameters and regulations which, at a basic level, have changed far less than during the years that he drove.
I wonder if any of that kind of power or brute force or 'oomph' he used to enjoy is missing from the contemporary F1 car? "It's one of those things. It's typical with the designers - the way they've tried to reduce everything, they've still been able to achieve, this year probably for the first time, the same G-forces that we had in the early nineties. They're up around 4G again which probably we haven't seen since those days when we had slicks and big wings. So the G-forces are still there."
Nonetheless, in recent years, driving styles have been less riveting, more conservative? "You have to be very careful - a bit like a ballerina on her toes, it's all very delicate the way you have to drive; whereas again, now you have people like Kimi and Fernando, maybe those two, who are very aggressive with their cars. I think we lost a bit in the early 2000s, but it has slowly crept back, which I think is good because as a driver I always think the ultimate was being able to grab it by the scruff of the neck and basically drive the pants off it."
I ask his opinions on today's crop of British drivers; the up and coming, and the already established. I suggest that you've got to feel pretty sorry for Jenson so far this season. He agrees: "Yeah - Well, he's been under a bit more pressure because Rubens has come through after a bit of a slow start to the season."
But then Rubens has upped his game, hasn't he... "Yeah, well, he's had to. He's under pressure too for the first time in quite a long while. Rubens is no slouch - he's a good qualifier and he's a very consistent racer too."
"For Jenson it's a shame, as the Honda hasn't come to fruition - it looked good at the beginning of the year; and then it was back to that position of qualifying well but racing badly, and now it's sort of - well, the qualifying isn't that good and the racing's about as same as the qualifying. So it's not too good at the moment. But you've got to see how that pans out. He's just got to stick at it. It might change next year, and he might be absolutely brilliant."
DC seems a lot happier, I suggest. Even though Red Bull may be lacking a bit right now, it seems the right kind of place for him...? "Yeah, he seems to have had a new lease of life at the end of his career really. Recently probably hasn't quite gone quite so well - it's been a bit mixed. As you said, there's a been a little bit of a depression because obviously the Toro Rosso's been pushing right up their backside... But, yeah, he's enjoying it. The car hasn't been as good as they expected - and it's probably been 50-50 between him and Klien at the end of the day."
I suggest that it's a bit of a shame that in fact Christian Klien has sometimes been doing a good bit better than DC and losing out to mechanical failures or whatever, and the Red Bull policy of choosing / sacking drivers on points doesn't necessarily reflect their true performance...
Johnny, whilst accepting that, still understands the harsh but clear team perspective on it: "No, but it's always black and white unfortunately. People always look at black and white, they very rarely look at the reasons why... and that's always a problem."
How about Anthony Davidson? "Anthony? Well... it's one of those unfortunate things. I always feel he should have a chance because I think that he's a not half decent driver. Of late he's come back because of the Friday practice sessions again this year, though perhaps the car isn't as competitive as it was. Sadly though the chances for him are going to be very limited as there aren't many seats left. I think he's done a good job but never really had a proper opportunity to show that."
With Montoya having so recently and abruptly left McLaren, I wonder what his thoughts are on the much-talked about Lewis Hamilton with regard to Ron Dennis' team... "Well you'd think they'd test him and see how he is - and if he's not ready, then maybe farm him out for a couple of years and then bring him back."
"You know, Alonso did fine by doing his Minardi bit and then getting his Renault chance, so from that point of view I don't think that's a problem for him, but then of course McLaren don't want to lose him."
What were his thoughts on Montoya walking away from the sport? "Well, to be honest, I think for him, it was probably the best thing for him... He obviously can't have been enjoying it or having fun with it, and was very disillusioned with it..."
I think many of us wouldn't have been surprised to not see him on the grid next year - but disappearing right in the middle of the season? "No, I've not really heard any negatives about it really, I think it was probably the right thing to do from his point of view - It wasn't going to happen, he didn't want to stay, so why not go now."
Possibly the only other 'rising' Brit might be Gary Paffett; though his chances of a seat next year are surely fairly slim? "Paffett... I must say, I don't know how much testing he's actually done... there's too many hanging around for a very limited amount of slots. Out of the two, you'd think it would be Hamilton, yes... because of what he's done, he's been with McLaren a long time, he's doing well in GP2..."
"Why would you put Gary ahead of him? So you would think it would be Hamilton. Then of course there's Kovalainen - now you would think that Flavio would put him somewhere. So then that's limited the seats."
While we're on the subject of the limited likely slots in 2007's line-up, I ask about the possible Midland seats. "I have no idea what we're doing next year yet..." he replies. Not in any kind of cagey or defensive sense though.
He just sounds as if it genuinely isn't an issue to get in the way at this point of the season; his drivers have their work to do with continuing to up the team's performance, so why cloud things with distracting talk of seats and line-ups.
The 2007 grid is, of course, fascinating to speculate on though, so we chat a bit further about other teams' options. With regard to BMW he says, "Heidfeld I'm sure will stay. But Jacques's been doing better so he might well end up staying. He's had a good year to be honest..."
And what about Kimi? "Well if he's off to Ferrari or has done his deal with Ferrari I would have thought Michael will always have that "I'm number one"... and how does that work, because Kimi's not going to go there as a number two..."
I ask him where he'd put his money right now as far as Raikkonen is concerned: Ferrari or Renault? "Er... well, actually - I suppose, knowing Flavio, I guess I wouldn't be surprised..."
He too finds the general lack of confirmations to any team, or of definitely parting with McLaren, quite noticeable: "It's very quiet though isn't it? It's amazing how quiet it is. And there's the assumption that he has gone - that's the big thing. It's very strange. It'll be interesting." It certainly will...
As we've been discussing the regulation changes for 2008 and how they may impact his, and other teams, it seems natural to bring up the other major 2008 talking point; the arrival of Prodrive. Will it be good to see David Richards back? "Yeah - it'll be interesting to see him running his own outfit, as we've obviously seen him before running the Honda team as BAR, he's had his rally experience and his sportscar experience and they've always done very, very well. Formula One is a different thing though, especially when you're doing it yourself. There's a lot of pressure on you to get everything together to make it work out."
Time has flown, and I've filled up loads of tape with questions I hadn't even planned on asking. What started as an interview has just played out into a long, diverting and hugely enjoyable F1 chat.
It's fascinating to hear someone with so much experience from all angles of the sport giving you the benefit of his thoughts. After saying thanks, I walk away through the baking heat, strangely noticing how it's not felt the tiniest bit like work.
You leave the Communications Centre feeling almost obliged to support Midland from here on, simply for being so accommodating and helpful. Or maybe it's one of those underdog things; like the reason so many people loved Minardi, or indeed Jordan.
They're a bunch of phenomenally talented guys working at the highest levels of sport - and to not be on top in a sport so fiercely competitive and where 'on top' is about the only thing that gets noticed, probably hurts a great deal more than it deserves to.
Nonetheless, seeing ways forward, ways up to that rarified top level, is exactly why they're there. And you only want to wish them well with it. This year, next - and of course in 2008.
Given the somewhat limited options for excitement elsewhere for the rest of this season, I've certainly promised myself to go whooping at every success that comes Midland's way.
And I hope they'll be giving me plenty to cheer about.
Some Communications Centres in the blazing hot Magny Cours paddock are always busy, like Renault and Ferrari; buzzing with the constant churn of the media, the wealthy and the usual fair-weather friends that such vast success inspires.
Others, like McLaren with its hastily posted "Invited Guests Only" signs - clearly caught a bit on the back foot by the departure of Juan Pablo Montoya a day or two earlier, would wish to be less busy than usual.
But it's perhaps unsurprisingly in the Midland F1 Communications Centre, the least pretentious and willy-waving of all in the paddock, that communications are most friendly, helpful and effective.
Ron Fine, the team's affable Communications Director, pulls Johnny Herbert, Midland F1's Sporting Relations Manager, from the vast, deep grey trucks that back onto the garages at a moment's notice, and we wander down to their hospitality suite to settle down in the shade with some cool drinks for a chat.
Herbert turns out to be possibly the nicest man you might ever meet; immediately friendly and frank - and he's also someone whose previous life as a driver gives him a great perspective on the sport's intrigues, cycles, politics and relentless technological march.
I ask how the Sporting Relations Manager role suits him - looking after a whole team, when previously as a driver it was all just about himself: "Oh, it's still all about me..." he laughs, "No, when you're this side of it you want the best for the whole team, to get the best from both cars. I'm enjoying it - I'm still learning it and learning how the whole thing evolves and the way the whole thing works around the way the team puts things into practice."
"Originally it was more to do with the media side of things, because of how the rumour mill was churning (surrounding Jordan in 2005), so I was brought in to be the friendly face for people to talk to, but it did get quieter and much more together."
The media role persists, with ongoing stories about the future ownership of the team he admits: "Even now, there are rumours about where this place ends up, but it's really a much calmer atmosphere within to be honest. The original idea was to do very much the press side of stuff, dealing with the drivers and the sponsors; the easy stuff... but now there's a bit more the engineers, the ongoing stuff and what's going on with the FIA towards 2008 and so-on."
I ask if that fuller role is more interesting than just the media side of things for an ex-driver: "Oh yes, but I wouldn't have wanted to just dive straight in, because I hadn't got any experience in that area. Hopefully it'll get more in-depth and there'll be more of the running of everything the way it needs to be."
Herbert originally joined the team last year, and a lot has happened since then... "From the Jordan era to this year it has changed very quickly - I thought it might take longer to shake that off, but it hasn't - and everybody's very dedicated to it, and of course there's all the rule changes which everybody's talking about at the same time. You'd think (the rule changes) would benefit the smaller teams such as ourselves, but of course they're not actually settled yet, so we don't know quite what they're going to be - we've got a good idea but we don't know exactly so we'll have to wait and see."
I ask where he hopes Midland will be by the end of this year, and where they hope to be next year? "We've come from a position where we had no chance of getting through to the second round of qualifying to now hopefully getting that consistency there that we do qualify both cars in that second round."
Which gives some room tactically as you look to the race itself...
"Oh yeah - exactly. We still need to improve our race pace... we've seen it sporadically but we need to see it more consistently. To compete against the others that's what you need: that's probably the biggest thing we need to work on for the moment."
So, for 2007? "Once we can get that race pace side of things going, and we know what is happening with F1 in 2008 basically then we can structure ourselves in a way that aim towards 2008 really..." So that ideally puts you in a position to then develop for both 2007 and 2008 simultaneously?
"Yeah, exactly - sure. I think 2008 will be the main one because of the amount of change."
One area where Johnny Herbert has a naturally deeper awareness of sensitivities and dynamics is in the nurturing of the two Midland drivers; Monteiro and Albers. What's it like to look after and push two competing talents working for the same team as well as for themselves? "The competitiveness between the drivers is always, I think, a positive thing because I think it just lifts the drivers, which lifts the team, and which helps everything work much, much more efficiently. But we're not looking at winning or podiums of course; we're looking more at the latter part of the points."
Whilst his approach to inter-driver competition seems healthy, does he find the Red Bull approach of threatening drivers a bit destructive by comparison? "It's destructive, but I suppose there are certain points that you have to get to if things aren't going your way - Red Bull for example, they expected a lot more, but they haven't got it. The Toro Rosso has probably effectively started to out-drive the Red Bull cars, and then the pressure's on Red Bull, the drivers, the engineers and everybody else to get it together to be able to keep them behind, so then the pressure does up itself. But then that's Formula One."
The Midland F1 drivers, the odd tangle aside, seem to have been quietly doing okay so far... "Yeah, they're doing okay really. They have helped development, and the car has gone forward. So the guys back at the factory have all done the aero work and put it on the cars, the drivers have given their input, and it has been really positive - and it has got better. It's not easy to close the gap on the big guys, but we've been able to do that - we're not up their exhaust pipes of course, but we have got closer."
Herbert's main concern for his drivers is not losing the pace from qualifying to the race itself: "As I said the only thing we need to do is to get the race pace better; and that's down to the drivers being able to get the best from the car - if they can get the best from the car in qualifying and get it into the second phase of qualifying then I don't see any reason why they can't have a better race pace."
If they can sort that, then it looks to build a virtuous circle: "It's good for their careers, it's good for the team, it's good for all of us."
Knowing what a great F1 driver Johnny Herbert was, you can't help wondering if he misses it a bit... I ask if he's driven the Midland M16: "No... though actually I almost did the other week!" he says, referring to almost sitting in on a recent test session. "Tiago had a problem with his neck, and Christijan had a problem with his back. He eventually did do the day, but they did phone me up to see if I was sitting around throughout the day, which would have been quite an interesting one, It was close. My comeback was close!" he laughs.
It's inevitable that I'd also want to ask Johnny about his own time as a driver. I ask what his favourite cars were, not necessarily because of having taken wins in them, but more because of character and driveability... "Well, I was very lucky and fortunate in that I got the end of the turbo era: I drove the Benetton Ford and the Lotus Honda - and they were good. They were very 'brute force' power, they had about 950 to 1000 horsepower when I drove them, but then of course you had the big tall wings, the big front wings, the big fat tyres - they were really awesome to drive."
Were they really very different to drive, as they always look like they got thrown around a lot more? "Yeah; a different style completely because it was all more or less 'brake very very late, get round the corner, get the turbo spinning again, short-shift through the gears and get going again - they were pretty awesome things: I would say that was the best thing ever. But the early nineties were good as well, because we still had the big tyres and wings and everything else and they were really good too."
Johnny Herbert's F1 driving career lasted several years, during which - as ever - the sport was in huge transition. And although he cites cars like the old Lotus as a favourite, he was still competing in cars such as Saubers and Stewarts, which have a lot more in common with today's cars.
By the time Johnny retired from driving, the cars were designed and built to parameters and regulations which, at a basic level, have changed far less than during the years that he drove.
I wonder if any of that kind of power or brute force or 'oomph' he used to enjoy is missing from the contemporary F1 car? "It's one of those things. It's typical with the designers - the way they've tried to reduce everything, they've still been able to achieve, this year probably for the first time, the same G-forces that we had in the early nineties. They're up around 4G again which probably we haven't seen since those days when we had slicks and big wings. So the G-forces are still there."
Nonetheless, in recent years, driving styles have been less riveting, more conservative? "You have to be very careful - a bit like a ballerina on her toes, it's all very delicate the way you have to drive; whereas again, now you have people like Kimi and Fernando, maybe those two, who are very aggressive with their cars. I think we lost a bit in the early 2000s, but it has slowly crept back, which I think is good because as a driver I always think the ultimate was being able to grab it by the scruff of the neck and basically drive the pants off it."
I ask his opinions on today's crop of British drivers; the up and coming, and the already established. I suggest that you've got to feel pretty sorry for Jenson so far this season. He agrees: "Yeah - Well, he's been under a bit more pressure because Rubens has come through after a bit of a slow start to the season."
But then Rubens has upped his game, hasn't he... "Yeah, well, he's had to. He's under pressure too for the first time in quite a long while. Rubens is no slouch - he's a good qualifier and he's a very consistent racer too."
"For Jenson it's a shame, as the Honda hasn't come to fruition - it looked good at the beginning of the year; and then it was back to that position of qualifying well but racing badly, and now it's sort of - well, the qualifying isn't that good and the racing's about as same as the qualifying. So it's not too good at the moment. But you've got to see how that pans out. He's just got to stick at it. It might change next year, and he might be absolutely brilliant."
DC seems a lot happier, I suggest. Even though Red Bull may be lacking a bit right now, it seems the right kind of place for him...? "Yeah, he seems to have had a new lease of life at the end of his career really. Recently probably hasn't quite gone quite so well - it's been a bit mixed. As you said, there's a been a little bit of a depression because obviously the Toro Rosso's been pushing right up their backside... But, yeah, he's enjoying it. The car hasn't been as good as they expected - and it's probably been 50-50 between him and Klien at the end of the day."
I suggest that it's a bit of a shame that in fact Christian Klien has sometimes been doing a good bit better than DC and losing out to mechanical failures or whatever, and the Red Bull policy of choosing / sacking drivers on points doesn't necessarily reflect their true performance...
Johnny, whilst accepting that, still understands the harsh but clear team perspective on it: "No, but it's always black and white unfortunately. People always look at black and white, they very rarely look at the reasons why... and that's always a problem."
How about Anthony Davidson? "Anthony? Well... it's one of those unfortunate things. I always feel he should have a chance because I think that he's a not half decent driver. Of late he's come back because of the Friday practice sessions again this year, though perhaps the car isn't as competitive as it was. Sadly though the chances for him are going to be very limited as there aren't many seats left. I think he's done a good job but never really had a proper opportunity to show that."
With Montoya having so recently and abruptly left McLaren, I wonder what his thoughts are on the much-talked about Lewis Hamilton with regard to Ron Dennis' team... "Well you'd think they'd test him and see how he is - and if he's not ready, then maybe farm him out for a couple of years and then bring him back."
"You know, Alonso did fine by doing his Minardi bit and then getting his Renault chance, so from that point of view I don't think that's a problem for him, but then of course McLaren don't want to lose him."
What were his thoughts on Montoya walking away from the sport? "Well, to be honest, I think for him, it was probably the best thing for him... He obviously can't have been enjoying it or having fun with it, and was very disillusioned with it..."
I think many of us wouldn't have been surprised to not see him on the grid next year - but disappearing right in the middle of the season? "No, I've not really heard any negatives about it really, I think it was probably the right thing to do from his point of view - It wasn't going to happen, he didn't want to stay, so why not go now."
Possibly the only other 'rising' Brit might be Gary Paffett; though his chances of a seat next year are surely fairly slim? "Paffett... I must say, I don't know how much testing he's actually done... there's too many hanging around for a very limited amount of slots. Out of the two, you'd think it would be Hamilton, yes... because of what he's done, he's been with McLaren a long time, he's doing well in GP2..."
"Why would you put Gary ahead of him? So you would think it would be Hamilton. Then of course there's Kovalainen - now you would think that Flavio would put him somewhere. So then that's limited the seats."
While we're on the subject of the limited likely slots in 2007's line-up, I ask about the possible Midland seats. "I have no idea what we're doing next year yet..." he replies. Not in any kind of cagey or defensive sense though.
He just sounds as if it genuinely isn't an issue to get in the way at this point of the season; his drivers have their work to do with continuing to up the team's performance, so why cloud things with distracting talk of seats and line-ups.
The 2007 grid is, of course, fascinating to speculate on though, so we chat a bit further about other teams' options. With regard to BMW he says, "Heidfeld I'm sure will stay. But Jacques's been doing better so he might well end up staying. He's had a good year to be honest..."
And what about Kimi? "Well if he's off to Ferrari or has done his deal with Ferrari I would have thought Michael will always have that "I'm number one"... and how does that work, because Kimi's not going to go there as a number two..."
I ask him where he'd put his money right now as far as Raikkonen is concerned: Ferrari or Renault? "Er... well, actually - I suppose, knowing Flavio, I guess I wouldn't be surprised..."
He too finds the general lack of confirmations to any team, or of definitely parting with McLaren, quite noticeable: "It's very quiet though isn't it? It's amazing how quiet it is. And there's the assumption that he has gone - that's the big thing. It's very strange. It'll be interesting." It certainly will...
As we've been discussing the regulation changes for 2008 and how they may impact his, and other teams, it seems natural to bring up the other major 2008 talking point; the arrival of Prodrive. Will it be good to see David Richards back? "Yeah - it'll be interesting to see him running his own outfit, as we've obviously seen him before running the Honda team as BAR, he's had his rally experience and his sportscar experience and they've always done very, very well. Formula One is a different thing though, especially when you're doing it yourself. There's a lot of pressure on you to get everything together to make it work out."
Time has flown, and I've filled up loads of tape with questions I hadn't even planned on asking. What started as an interview has just played out into a long, diverting and hugely enjoyable F1 chat.
It's fascinating to hear someone with so much experience from all angles of the sport giving you the benefit of his thoughts. After saying thanks, I walk away through the baking heat, strangely noticing how it's not felt the tiniest bit like work.
You leave the Communications Centre feeling almost obliged to support Midland from here on, simply for being so accommodating and helpful. Or maybe it's one of those underdog things; like the reason so many people loved Minardi, or indeed Jordan.
They're a bunch of phenomenally talented guys working at the highest levels of sport - and to not be on top in a sport so fiercely competitive and where 'on top' is about the only thing that gets noticed, probably hurts a great deal more than it deserves to.
Nonetheless, seeing ways forward, ways up to that rarified top level, is exactly why they're there. And you only want to wish them well with it. This year, next - and of course in 2008.
Given the somewhat limited options for excitement elsewhere for the rest of this season, I've certainly promised myself to go whooping at every success that comes Midland's way.
And I hope they'll be giving me plenty to cheer about.
Jul 24, 2006
Bring Back Bernievision
Bernie Ecclestone - you either love him or loathe him. Or, like me, you find time to do both...
He's a polarising figure who's come to amass around £2.2bn in wealth from F1 through very astute business and very smart politics.
As someone who basically started by running Brabham in the seventies, he's come a very long way indeed, seeming to absorb each important and money-making facet of the sport over the successive decades until he pretty much owns it all.
As F1 "supremo" (wouldn't that be a fantastic word to have on your business card) he tends to be on the side of the fans and the sport, (as opposed to Max Mosley, who clearly models himself on Alan Rickman's classic pantomime Sheriff of Nottingham from 'Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves'); although he does still have lapses...
Bernie didn't manage to prevent a completely preventable and unmitigated disaster at Indy last year, even tossing back smarmy answers at Martin Brundle (in his finest hour) on live TV, and looking like a pratt fiddling while something big and important burned.
Still, he has had some great ideas - like the outrageous 1978 Brabham BT46 'Fan Car'. And perhaps, most importantly, "Bernievision" - the name people gave to his phenomenal digital F1 channel you could get on Sky a few years ago.
It was a perfect match of sport and technology: I tend to take most things in my stride, but as an F1 fan and a telly addict I was blown way by its amazing capacity to deliver something approaching the ultimate at-home GP experience.
Bernievision gave you a multi-screen setup where you could pick main feed, onboard shots, pit lane coverage, leaders, midfield, looped repeated highlights, timing data, driver profiles, and all kinds of other geeky goodness.
Not only that but it was on for every single part of the event: Friday practice sessions, full Saturdays - practice and quali, even the Sunday warm-up and full race build-up. It was able to make everything so exciting (even when in reality it perhaps wasn't) and allowed you phenomenal levels of scrutiny - I spent most of 2002 watching Kimi Raikkonen's engines grenade themselves from millions of fascinating angles...
Once an idea ahead of its time (reflected in the original lack of take-up) it's now in danger of being lost, when it could be a crucial tool in distributing F1 to all the "markets" Bernie wants to get onboard.
F1 needs a dedicated media division focused on bringing back that service and getting it on every digital network on earth. Never has the sport needed more people to get excited about it, and what a great legacy it would be for Bernie to do just that...
He's a polarising figure who's come to amass around £2.2bn in wealth from F1 through very astute business and very smart politics.
As someone who basically started by running Brabham in the seventies, he's come a very long way indeed, seeming to absorb each important and money-making facet of the sport over the successive decades until he pretty much owns it all.
As F1 "supremo" (wouldn't that be a fantastic word to have on your business card) he tends to be on the side of the fans and the sport, (as opposed to Max Mosley, who clearly models himself on Alan Rickman's classic pantomime Sheriff of Nottingham from 'Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves'); although he does still have lapses...
Bernie didn't manage to prevent a completely preventable and unmitigated disaster at Indy last year, even tossing back smarmy answers at Martin Brundle (in his finest hour) on live TV, and looking like a pratt fiddling while something big and important burned.
Still, he has had some great ideas - like the outrageous 1978 Brabham BT46 'Fan Car'. And perhaps, most importantly, "Bernievision" - the name people gave to his phenomenal digital F1 channel you could get on Sky a few years ago.
It was a perfect match of sport and technology: I tend to take most things in my stride, but as an F1 fan and a telly addict I was blown way by its amazing capacity to deliver something approaching the ultimate at-home GP experience.
Bernievision gave you a multi-screen setup where you could pick main feed, onboard shots, pit lane coverage, leaders, midfield, looped repeated highlights, timing data, driver profiles, and all kinds of other geeky goodness.
Not only that but it was on for every single part of the event: Friday practice sessions, full Saturdays - practice and quali, even the Sunday warm-up and full race build-up. It was able to make everything so exciting (even when in reality it perhaps wasn't) and allowed you phenomenal levels of scrutiny - I spent most of 2002 watching Kimi Raikkonen's engines grenade themselves from millions of fascinating angles...
Once an idea ahead of its time (reflected in the original lack of take-up) it's now in danger of being lost, when it could be a crucial tool in distributing F1 to all the "markets" Bernie wants to get onboard.
F1 needs a dedicated media division focused on bringing back that service and getting it on every digital network on earth. Never has the sport needed more people to get excited about it, and what a great legacy it would be for Bernie to do just that...
Jul 17, 2006
Friday Bloody Friday
If you've been to a grand prix this year, and paid to attend on the Friday you'll probably have noticed something... the feeling of being ripped off. More than in previous years, Fridays seem to be giving far less to fans as their heroes sit out the sessions in the garages.
There are currently ideas being aired among the bosses to change Fridays so they give more for fans, but in the meantime they could at least consider supplementing the Free Practice sessions with some kind of paint-drying event to really liven things up.
Thanks to Max's 'cost cutting, improving the sport' engine rules - about as predictably disastrous as any scheme that has the word 'improvement' in it - Friday's Free Practice sessions have been pretty poorly used by the top names so far.
If you're keeping up with it via the web, a paper, or Teletext of course, then it's merely one more crushing disappointment and a Mosley monogrammed nail in the coffin of F1. If you've paid good money to go and watch, then it's infuriating beyond belief.
Fans shell out lots of money to attend GP "weekends" - and to have all the stars barely touching the circuit for a third of it because they don't want to turn over their engines or use up any tyres, puts a big dent in your enjoyment, believe me.
Admittedly there are some cracking third drivers who do put some laps in - Davidson, Wurz, Kubica; though Alex has done a fair bit of showboating, throwing in some very cheeky low-fuel flyers for the hell of it despite Sam Michael saying that Williams don't do that kind of thing... (It's probably just fun for them to stick a finger up at BMW.)
The problem is that while third drivers can afford to properly 'drive' their cars on a Friday, anyone on the grid can barely afford to fire them up in case they damage them, lose performance, or wear them out.
The less laps the actual race drivers spend out there on Fridays, the less prepared they'll obviously be (even with third drivers gathering data). And, as good as the third drivers are, fans want to see the stars. Harsh but true.
Often this season, about half the field barely turn a wheel in the 1st session, and don't do much in the 2nd either. That's shoddy - it really is. If the fans can be bothered to turn up, then the F1 circus should have the decency to put on a show.
Otherwise one of the hidden costs in Max's engine cost-cutting may be yet more disgruntled fans walking away from a sport they love but can't bear to see dismembered and destroyed.
Fridays may not be race days Max, but you ignore them at your peril.
There are currently ideas being aired among the bosses to change Fridays so they give more for fans, but in the meantime they could at least consider supplementing the Free Practice sessions with some kind of paint-drying event to really liven things up.
Thanks to Max's 'cost cutting, improving the sport' engine rules - about as predictably disastrous as any scheme that has the word 'improvement' in it - Friday's Free Practice sessions have been pretty poorly used by the top names so far.
If you're keeping up with it via the web, a paper, or Teletext of course, then it's merely one more crushing disappointment and a Mosley monogrammed nail in the coffin of F1. If you've paid good money to go and watch, then it's infuriating beyond belief.
Fans shell out lots of money to attend GP "weekends" - and to have all the stars barely touching the circuit for a third of it because they don't want to turn over their engines or use up any tyres, puts a big dent in your enjoyment, believe me.
Admittedly there are some cracking third drivers who do put some laps in - Davidson, Wurz, Kubica; though Alex has done a fair bit of showboating, throwing in some very cheeky low-fuel flyers for the hell of it despite Sam Michael saying that Williams don't do that kind of thing... (It's probably just fun for them to stick a finger up at BMW.)
The problem is that while third drivers can afford to properly 'drive' their cars on a Friday, anyone on the grid can barely afford to fire them up in case they damage them, lose performance, or wear them out.
The less laps the actual race drivers spend out there on Fridays, the less prepared they'll obviously be (even with third drivers gathering data). And, as good as the third drivers are, fans want to see the stars. Harsh but true.
Often this season, about half the field barely turn a wheel in the 1st session, and don't do much in the 2nd either. That's shoddy - it really is. If the fans can be bothered to turn up, then the F1 circus should have the decency to put on a show.
Otherwise one of the hidden costs in Max's engine cost-cutting may be yet more disgruntled fans walking away from a sport they love but can't bear to see dismembered and destroyed.
Fridays may not be race days Max, but you ignore them at your peril.
Jul 10, 2006
Mad Max
When you heard earlier in the year that Max Mosley was, amongst many other surreal, daft and outright barking things, suggesting age limits on drivers did it suggest any related bright idea to you too?
Yes, absolutely spot on: Age limits on FIA Presidents. It's surely the only way to stop the madness...
The constant battle between the teams and the authorities (it was Jean Marie Ballestre's FISA before the FIA) seems to have gone on forever. It's an epic battle for the soul of the sport: good versus evil, or at the very least basically nice versus profoundly stupid.
And there's still no sign of it stopping, even with the GPMA breakaway series threatened by the manufacturers apparently over and done with; Mad Max always apparently issues edicts at random to open up old wounds or start fresh battles whenever peace looks like breaking out.
It's not random of course: Max isn't thick. Just because pretty much everything he does in rewriting sporting and technical regulations appears to suggest he should get the Queen's medal for contributions to thickness, it's not that simple.
Everything has a purpose and as often as not many pronouncements may have more to do with calling bluffs, shifting the ground on which other battles are being fought, than they do on any superficial level.
And let's not suggest the teams are blameless in all this either - they have their own plans for the future (that now includes Renault, who had originally suggested the baffling idea of trying to run and plan a team on a year-by-year basis) and so does Bernie.
He'll have bags of ideas about where he wants the sport to go - both idealogically and geographically. I would hope in those plans is a section about bringing back his Bernievision multi-screen digital TV channel - an idea once ahead of its time, but now surely an absolute winner.
Still, one of the best bits of F1 news so far this year is Max confirming this is his last mandate as President. It does come tinged with sadness though, as he says he has "a substitute ready..." My guess is that it (sadly) isn't going to be Paul Stoddart.
If I'm correct, there was talk a while back of Jean Todt ending up succeeding Max; a legacy that would confirm to many that the FIA and Ferrari have an unhealthy relationship. But it might be just the kind of deliberately inflammatory (or plain mad) parting gesture one ought to expect...
Yes, absolutely spot on: Age limits on FIA Presidents. It's surely the only way to stop the madness...
The constant battle between the teams and the authorities (it was Jean Marie Ballestre's FISA before the FIA) seems to have gone on forever. It's an epic battle for the soul of the sport: good versus evil, or at the very least basically nice versus profoundly stupid.
And there's still no sign of it stopping, even with the GPMA breakaway series threatened by the manufacturers apparently over and done with; Mad Max always apparently issues edicts at random to open up old wounds or start fresh battles whenever peace looks like breaking out.
It's not random of course: Max isn't thick. Just because pretty much everything he does in rewriting sporting and technical regulations appears to suggest he should get the Queen's medal for contributions to thickness, it's not that simple.
Everything has a purpose and as often as not many pronouncements may have more to do with calling bluffs, shifting the ground on which other battles are being fought, than they do on any superficial level.
And let's not suggest the teams are blameless in all this either - they have their own plans for the future (that now includes Renault, who had originally suggested the baffling idea of trying to run and plan a team on a year-by-year basis) and so does Bernie.
He'll have bags of ideas about where he wants the sport to go - both idealogically and geographically. I would hope in those plans is a section about bringing back his Bernievision multi-screen digital TV channel - an idea once ahead of its time, but now surely an absolute winner.
Still, one of the best bits of F1 news so far this year is Max confirming this is his last mandate as President. It does come tinged with sadness though, as he says he has "a substitute ready..." My guess is that it (sadly) isn't going to be Paul Stoddart.
If I'm correct, there was talk a while back of Jean Todt ending up succeeding Max; a legacy that would confirm to many that the FIA and Ferrari have an unhealthy relationship. But it might be just the kind of deliberately inflammatory (or plain mad) parting gesture one ought to expect...
Jul 3, 2006
Lest We Forget...
It must be difficult not being one of the top four or five drivers. It's the F1 equivalent of being Bill Pullman. Or do I mean Bill Paxton? No. No, I was right first time... Pullman. See, that's exactly what I mean. If you're not A-list material, it's easy to become a bit forgettable - or, worse still, invisible.
If you're anything less than a genius driver in a phenomenal team, then however great your achievements, you can be ignored in the noisier static of the media.
Nick Heidfeld for instance (apparently no taller than an Action Man in real life, and so always subject to visibility problems) is a consistent, clever and reliable driver. And very fast on a good day. His 2006 hasn't exactly been fab, but it's certainly not been a disaster either, and he's still done some great driving. It just happens to have been eclipsed by the front runners.
Felipe Massa too has been nothing less than workmanlike (in that he goes around demolishing things...) and has quietly done a good job helping the Ferrari campaign. You only really tend to notice the errors of course.
Nico Rosberg gets talked up as F1's David Beckham - a vaguely plausible comparison until you realise that he actually looks more like a blonde girl with mumps than an international footballer. And with a couple of great races already this year (Bahrain & Europe), he stands a chance of stepping out of his dad's not inconsiderable shadow.
His dad's big shadow is not merely middle-age spread: he was an awesome racer (note the word 'racer', not simply 'driver') during the eighties - fast, fearless, fair and supremely gifted. If Nico has some of that in his genes, then it's his duty to all of us to bring it back into the sport.
Takuma Sato has actually been doing a great job, given the tools he has to work with - and it's only because he's so far off the pace that he's really not in your face. Something for which Michael Schumacher is probably extremely grateful. But there he is, pulling indecently good performances out of a half-decent car.
There are others too: Villeneuve, Webber, Coulthard, Ralf Schumacher, Trulli... even Montoya and Fisichella aren't too bad - they're just put in the shade by team mates working at a completely different level.
Let's face it, you have to be pretty damned good to get into F1 in the first place (unless you're a Pay Driver or Yuji Ide of course) so quibbles about how drivers compare always have to accept a certain level of excellence to even get off the ground.
But in a sport so singly defined by the winning, the taking part sometimes gets a teensy bit forgotten. And given how talented and committed all these guys are, that's a bit of a shame.
Hang on! I *DID* mean Bill Paxton! Sheesh!
If you're anything less than a genius driver in a phenomenal team, then however great your achievements, you can be ignored in the noisier static of the media.
Nick Heidfeld for instance (apparently no taller than an Action Man in real life, and so always subject to visibility problems) is a consistent, clever and reliable driver. And very fast on a good day. His 2006 hasn't exactly been fab, but it's certainly not been a disaster either, and he's still done some great driving. It just happens to have been eclipsed by the front runners.
Felipe Massa too has been nothing less than workmanlike (in that he goes around demolishing things...) and has quietly done a good job helping the Ferrari campaign. You only really tend to notice the errors of course.
Nico Rosberg gets talked up as F1's David Beckham - a vaguely plausible comparison until you realise that he actually looks more like a blonde girl with mumps than an international footballer. And with a couple of great races already this year (Bahrain & Europe), he stands a chance of stepping out of his dad's not inconsiderable shadow.
His dad's big shadow is not merely middle-age spread: he was an awesome racer (note the word 'racer', not simply 'driver') during the eighties - fast, fearless, fair and supremely gifted. If Nico has some of that in his genes, then it's his duty to all of us to bring it back into the sport.
Takuma Sato has actually been doing a great job, given the tools he has to work with - and it's only because he's so far off the pace that he's really not in your face. Something for which Michael Schumacher is probably extremely grateful. But there he is, pulling indecently good performances out of a half-decent car.
There are others too: Villeneuve, Webber, Coulthard, Ralf Schumacher, Trulli... even Montoya and Fisichella aren't too bad - they're just put in the shade by team mates working at a completely different level.
Let's face it, you have to be pretty damned good to get into F1 in the first place (unless you're a Pay Driver or Yuji Ide of course) so quibbles about how drivers compare always have to accept a certain level of excellence to even get off the ground.
But in a sport so singly defined by the winning, the taking part sometimes gets a teensy bit forgotten. And given how talented and committed all these guys are, that's a bit of a shame.
Hang on! I *DID* mean Bill Paxton! Sheesh!
Jun 26, 2006
Half-time 2006: Ifs & Buts
"If..." goes the old commentators' cliche, "is F1 spelled backwards". Not at the school I went to, it's not matey: that's just poor spelling, which tells you more about the parlous state of the education system and the calibre of F1 pundits than what a bitch Lady Luck can be when she's sat back watching the GP.
Still, as we sit here at something approximating half-time, it is one of those phrases that seems to make sense of a season of crushing predictability, random incident and fateful decision.
What would have happened if McLaren had a genuine combo of speed and reliability, rather than the general absence of either? What if Honda got their aero issues cleared up months back? Well, in truth, they'd probably still both be floundering in Renault's supreme wake, with only Ferrari probably looking like they'd made any comeback at all.
What if Aguri had a proper chassis back in March? Not much change there either: Ide still wouldn't know how to drive it, and Sato would probably just crash it a bit quicker. (Let's face it, he's only had such a 'clean' season because he's not going fast enough to have an accident...)
If Schumacher hadn't been sent to the back of the grid, would he have won in Monaco? Certainly not if I'd been a steward, because he wouldn't have even been taking part. But what if he had been able to park better than that old woman off the 'Driving School' programme? Would he have got away with it then?
Parking skills are something Fernando Alonso is likely to need to develop with his move to McLaren next year. Oh, and the patience of a saint if Raikkonen's 5 wasted seasons there are anything to go by. I wonder if he's regretting that decision just yet...
There are still lots of ifs surrounding the 2007 driver market, most of which rest on Michael Schumacher. Fisichella clearly hasn't been re-signed by Renault as their choice for first driver, and Maranello don't know if they'll have Schumi or Kimi (They surely won't have both).
Also, you have to assume that some 2007 decisions may also hinge on 2008, when Prodrive joins the grid. They're not going to be the bigger names of course, but this is chaos theory writ large, where everything affects everything else.
And there are still ifs surrounding the sport itself, despite the GPMA teams signing up for 2008. If Mad Max continues to mess with the future of engines and so-on, tossing grenades into the mix, then there's still plenty that could happen. Including manufacturers simply walking away from F1 forever.
Any ifs for the rest of this season? Well, probably plenty; but none likely to change the outcome of the Championship sadly. After anticipating a really close, competitive season, it's been quite a letdown. Let's just hope those ifs at can at least add a bit of excitement.
Still, as we sit here at something approximating half-time, it is one of those phrases that seems to make sense of a season of crushing predictability, random incident and fateful decision.
What would have happened if McLaren had a genuine combo of speed and reliability, rather than the general absence of either? What if Honda got their aero issues cleared up months back? Well, in truth, they'd probably still both be floundering in Renault's supreme wake, with only Ferrari probably looking like they'd made any comeback at all.
What if Aguri had a proper chassis back in March? Not much change there either: Ide still wouldn't know how to drive it, and Sato would probably just crash it a bit quicker. (Let's face it, he's only had such a 'clean' season because he's not going fast enough to have an accident...)
If Schumacher hadn't been sent to the back of the grid, would he have won in Monaco? Certainly not if I'd been a steward, because he wouldn't have even been taking part. But what if he had been able to park better than that old woman off the 'Driving School' programme? Would he have got away with it then?
Parking skills are something Fernando Alonso is likely to need to develop with his move to McLaren next year. Oh, and the patience of a saint if Raikkonen's 5 wasted seasons there are anything to go by. I wonder if he's regretting that decision just yet...
There are still lots of ifs surrounding the 2007 driver market, most of which rest on Michael Schumacher. Fisichella clearly hasn't been re-signed by Renault as their choice for first driver, and Maranello don't know if they'll have Schumi or Kimi (They surely won't have both).
Also, you have to assume that some 2007 decisions may also hinge on 2008, when Prodrive joins the grid. They're not going to be the bigger names of course, but this is chaos theory writ large, where everything affects everything else.
And there are still ifs surrounding the sport itself, despite the GPMA teams signing up for 2008. If Mad Max continues to mess with the future of engines and so-on, tossing grenades into the mix, then there's still plenty that could happen. Including manufacturers simply walking away from F1 forever.
Any ifs for the rest of this season? Well, probably plenty; but none likely to change the outcome of the Championship sadly. After anticipating a really close, competitive season, it's been quite a letdown. Let's just hope those ifs at can at least add a bit of excitement.
Jun 19, 2006
Fun, Fun, Fun...
Ron Dennis calling for more fun in F1 was bound to raise eyebrows. The boss of McLaren suggesting that the sport is too dull and serious is a hefty case of the pot calling the kettle... well, if not black, then certainly a very dull and sombre McLaren grey.
And who's right? Well, as usual, both sides and neither side. Yes the sport does need more to attract and intrigue bigger and younger audiences - that's so simple a point it should be obvious to all but the occasional bumpkin, village idiot and Max Mosley.
But how you actually bring fun to a sport without taking away the mystique could be a difficult question: a driver doesn't need a water pistol to look like a clown when he can just stomp down the pitlane and have an hilarious hissy-fit at Jacques Villeneuve on live TV.
At the same time, the sport can generally appear too aloof and full of itself - fans deserve to be closer to the action and to their heroes a lot of the time (which BMW Sauber is commendably trying to address with its special "F1-land travelling experience sideshow" thingy...)
Back in the seventies some drivers used to camp in the centre of tracks like Kyalami and have barbecues with the punters. Whether you'd want Kimi Raikkonen mumbling at you like Kenny from South Park over over some undercooked sausages is open to question, but then that's never going to be a possibility nowadays anyway.
Nonetheless, special and unique events to bring heroes and fans face to face are surely a good idea... and they're surely possible. This is F1 after all! Anything's possible! (Well anything apart from an emergency chicane at Indianapolis apparently, but I digress...)
Bernie's Mr Fixit isn't he? Why can't he go a bit Willy Wonka and organise for each race ticket to have a unique number on it, and get each race organiser to hold an "Evening with the Stars" to which all the grid are committed? (A couple of hours each GP Friday evening, say...)
All the hundred lucky winners get a special pitwalk and a reception with goodie bags and drinks, and get to meet the drivers, who also do onstage interviews with the press. Then maybe there's another special prize for just one of the hundred on top of that?
A Prize-Draw event isn't fun in the clowning-around sense, no... it's a thousand times better and it generates better feeling. If I want belly laughs I'll watch my "Best of Takuma Sato" DVD. But Ron Dennis seems to be confusing fun with true engagement.
With things like the Prize-Draw, people tell everyone they know, they post their photos online, they make other people want to have been there. Everyone wins. Keep it up, do more, build on it and you have a virtuous circle: something much longer lasting and less messy than a fight with silly-string.
And who's right? Well, as usual, both sides and neither side. Yes the sport does need more to attract and intrigue bigger and younger audiences - that's so simple a point it should be obvious to all but the occasional bumpkin, village idiot and Max Mosley.
But how you actually bring fun to a sport without taking away the mystique could be a difficult question: a driver doesn't need a water pistol to look like a clown when he can just stomp down the pitlane and have an hilarious hissy-fit at Jacques Villeneuve on live TV.
At the same time, the sport can generally appear too aloof and full of itself - fans deserve to be closer to the action and to their heroes a lot of the time (which BMW Sauber is commendably trying to address with its special "F1-land travelling experience sideshow" thingy...)
Back in the seventies some drivers used to camp in the centre of tracks like Kyalami and have barbecues with the punters. Whether you'd want Kimi Raikkonen mumbling at you like Kenny from South Park over over some undercooked sausages is open to question, but then that's never going to be a possibility nowadays anyway.
Nonetheless, special and unique events to bring heroes and fans face to face are surely a good idea... and they're surely possible. This is F1 after all! Anything's possible! (Well anything apart from an emergency chicane at Indianapolis apparently, but I digress...)
Bernie's Mr Fixit isn't he? Why can't he go a bit Willy Wonka and organise for each race ticket to have a unique number on it, and get each race organiser to hold an "Evening with the Stars" to which all the grid are committed? (A couple of hours each GP Friday evening, say...)
All the hundred lucky winners get a special pitwalk and a reception with goodie bags and drinks, and get to meet the drivers, who also do onstage interviews with the press. Then maybe there's another special prize for just one of the hundred on top of that?
A Prize-Draw event isn't fun in the clowning-around sense, no... it's a thousand times better and it generates better feeling. If I want belly laughs I'll watch my "Best of Takuma Sato" DVD. But Ron Dennis seems to be confusing fun with true engagement.
With things like the Prize-Draw, people tell everyone they know, they post their photos online, they make other people want to have been there. Everyone wins. Keep it up, do more, build on it and you have a virtuous circle: something much longer lasting and less messy than a fight with silly-string.
Jun 12, 2006
New Teams, New Teammates
In Paul Simon's classic song "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" one particularly imaginative and hurtful method that he didn't cover was telling your lover you're splitting up with them fifteen months in advance and then carrying on as if nothing's happened.
And yet that's basically what Fernando Alonso did to Flav and to Renault immediately after he delivered them both titles in a loved-up, landmark season: jumping ship to McLaren and causing no end of mayhem in the ongoing "Kimi to Ferrari?" saga.
Whilst you'd have thought that Ferdy's experience at Renault in 2006 might be a bit weird following such a shocking decision, that's really not happened at all: the team have resisted doing things like put drawing pins on his seat and carried on like the utter professionals they are.
Alonso too, has managed a serenely committed start to the season, and it's not surprising that it's over at McLaren - where things remain unclear and uncertain - that the atmosphere seems perpetually wretched and stressed.
Ron Dennis's problems are of his own making of course... who's staying: Kimi or JPM? Or neither??? You'd want to think that he's going to try and keep the Kimster and have himself another uber-pairing like that of Prost and Senna.
But it's worth bearing in mind that their relationship was self-destructive to the extent of taking each other out in Japan in 89. And combos of genius can end up even worse: witness the tragic loss of Gilles Villeneuve in pushing his competition with Didier Pironi beyond the limit in 1982.
It's unrealistic to expect complete harmony between team mates in such a highly ambitious sport but some combos do work pretty effectively, particularly when a certain level of difference in ability, stature and priority helps keep things ordered for both team and drivers.
And whilst gimp-like doormats actually end up making the team look stupid and taint the reputation and the achievements of the "star" driver - yes, we're talking Schumi and Rubens here - a solid first and second driver relationship is still great when it works.
So how can McLaren dispel the clouds of doubt and gossip and rumour; of sulk and counter-pout? Simple... Get it over with. Ron: decide! Kimi: decide! Talk to each other and talk to us. Get done with the lawyers and get on with the sport.
Raikkonen must still be wondering though, how Ron could possibly love someone else enough to spoil his singular role as the McLaren wonderboy (especially after giving them so much for so little reward). It's no wonder divorce lawyers are such busy people...
And yet that's basically what Fernando Alonso did to Flav and to Renault immediately after he delivered them both titles in a loved-up, landmark season: jumping ship to McLaren and causing no end of mayhem in the ongoing "Kimi to Ferrari?" saga.
Whilst you'd have thought that Ferdy's experience at Renault in 2006 might be a bit weird following such a shocking decision, that's really not happened at all: the team have resisted doing things like put drawing pins on his seat and carried on like the utter professionals they are.
Alonso too, has managed a serenely committed start to the season, and it's not surprising that it's over at McLaren - where things remain unclear and uncertain - that the atmosphere seems perpetually wretched and stressed.
Ron Dennis's problems are of his own making of course... who's staying: Kimi or JPM? Or neither??? You'd want to think that he's going to try and keep the Kimster and have himself another uber-pairing like that of Prost and Senna.
But it's worth bearing in mind that their relationship was self-destructive to the extent of taking each other out in Japan in 89. And combos of genius can end up even worse: witness the tragic loss of Gilles Villeneuve in pushing his competition with Didier Pironi beyond the limit in 1982.
It's unrealistic to expect complete harmony between team mates in such a highly ambitious sport but some combos do work pretty effectively, particularly when a certain level of difference in ability, stature and priority helps keep things ordered for both team and drivers.
And whilst gimp-like doormats actually end up making the team look stupid and taint the reputation and the achievements of the "star" driver - yes, we're talking Schumi and Rubens here - a solid first and second driver relationship is still great when it works.
So how can McLaren dispel the clouds of doubt and gossip and rumour; of sulk and counter-pout? Simple... Get it over with. Ron: decide! Kimi: decide! Talk to each other and talk to us. Get done with the lawyers and get on with the sport.
Raikkonen must still be wondering though, how Ron could possibly love someone else enough to spoil his singular role as the McLaren wonderboy (especially after giving them so much for so little reward). It's no wonder divorce lawyers are such busy people...
Jun 5, 2006
Ant Rant
I did actually promise myself that I wasn't going to write columns devoted to particular drivers. I promised my editor too, so I can probably expect to have a keyboard whacked across my face for trying to sneak this one through...
But please indulge me just this once, because it's crucial - it really is. So who is it that's so important they warrant this? Schumi? Ferdy? The Kimster? JV, DC or even our own Jenson Button? Nope. They have acres of print and screen devoted to their charmed careers. No - it's Anthony Davidson.
What I want to know is what Davidson has done in some previous life that's stopping him from being F1's next Great Briton? A man who often matched and frequently bettered Jenson Button and Dan Wheldon in karts should clearly not be where he is now.
In British F3 he partnered Takuma Sato throughout the 2001 season to come second in ever improving races and with obvious pace, persistence and a wily, ballsy penchant for overtaking. But since becoming Honda's 3rd driver, things have clearly drifted - not helped by the team effectively leaving him on the bench, Gil de Ferran bringing in Barrichello, and the team being reluctant even to let him do things like the Williams shoot-out test.
Davidson is known by many names: 'The Ant', 'Little Ant', 'Boy Friday', 'F1's Best Kept Secret' - and, quaintly, by a friend of mine as 'That Total Ginger Studmuffin'.
The Boy Friday moniker comes from his 3rd driver duties with Honda this current season, and in 2004, where his scorching sessions in both years sometimes led to lazy (and fundamentally wrong) notions that he was running on fumes. He also has a phenomenal reputation as a test driver.
His feedback to engineers in testing and developing cars is well renowned, as is his searing pace not only on short runs but over huge distances, week in week out. He has also had the very briefest of actual GP outings.
Nothing though, ever seems to give Ant enough kudos to have a decent team put him in a race seat; something not helped by his lack of absurd Buttonesque ego or PR presence. F1's Mr Nice Guy is sadly also F1's invisible man.
But, and I don't use the word lightly, Goddammit! Somebody give him a drive! At a time when even people like Ide (who simply couldn't drive an F1 car, let alone communicate with his team) manage to get seats and when apparent heavyweights (cunningly disguised as has-beens) like Barrichello can flap around so uselessly without getting sacked or punched, it's criminal that Ant isn't on the grid.
The burblings of a drive at Aguri in 2007 sound dangerously like a dead-end though: he deserves way better than that, and it's high time a top team manager came to their senses and put him in a race seat worthy of his considerable gifts and skills.
Rant over: Peace, out.
But please indulge me just this once, because it's crucial - it really is. So who is it that's so important they warrant this? Schumi? Ferdy? The Kimster? JV, DC or even our own Jenson Button? Nope. They have acres of print and screen devoted to their charmed careers. No - it's Anthony Davidson.
What I want to know is what Davidson has done in some previous life that's stopping him from being F1's next Great Briton? A man who often matched and frequently bettered Jenson Button and Dan Wheldon in karts should clearly not be where he is now.
In British F3 he partnered Takuma Sato throughout the 2001 season to come second in ever improving races and with obvious pace, persistence and a wily, ballsy penchant for overtaking. But since becoming Honda's 3rd driver, things have clearly drifted - not helped by the team effectively leaving him on the bench, Gil de Ferran bringing in Barrichello, and the team being reluctant even to let him do things like the Williams shoot-out test.
Davidson is known by many names: 'The Ant', 'Little Ant', 'Boy Friday', 'F1's Best Kept Secret' - and, quaintly, by a friend of mine as 'That Total Ginger Studmuffin'.
The Boy Friday moniker comes from his 3rd driver duties with Honda this current season, and in 2004, where his scorching sessions in both years sometimes led to lazy (and fundamentally wrong) notions that he was running on fumes. He also has a phenomenal reputation as a test driver.
His feedback to engineers in testing and developing cars is well renowned, as is his searing pace not only on short runs but over huge distances, week in week out. He has also had the very briefest of actual GP outings.
Nothing though, ever seems to give Ant enough kudos to have a decent team put him in a race seat; something not helped by his lack of absurd Buttonesque ego or PR presence. F1's Mr Nice Guy is sadly also F1's invisible man.
But, and I don't use the word lightly, Goddammit! Somebody give him a drive! At a time when even people like Ide (who simply couldn't drive an F1 car, let alone communicate with his team) manage to get seats and when apparent heavyweights (cunningly disguised as has-beens) like Barrichello can flap around so uselessly without getting sacked or punched, it's criminal that Ant isn't on the grid.
The burblings of a drive at Aguri in 2007 sound dangerously like a dead-end though: he deserves way better than that, and it's high time a top team manager came to their senses and put him in a race seat worthy of his considerable gifts and skills.
Rant over: Peace, out.
May 29, 2006
Monaco - Flawed Jewel In The F1 Crown
Wow! It's Monaco! Woohooh! The glitz! The glamour! The shiny opulence of it all!
Rubbish - most people's experience of the Monaco Grand Prix isn't glamourous at all: it's just sitting in front of a telly, shouting at interminable adverts and hurling abuse at James Allen.
Monaco always has some kind of Get Out of Jail Free card, and never gets a rough ride from the authorities despite the fact that it is the very opposite of everything they demand from every other event.
It's a narrow, unforgiving circuit that would be struck off the calendar in a flash for safety reasons if it were based anywhere other than the diamond encrusted cliffsides of Monte Carlo. And before I get taken for some raving communist let me just say I honestly don't mind that: I just think there are far better venues that get treated abysmally (Silverstone or Spa for instance) and I don't like double-standards.
That rant out of the way, Monaco has certainly staged some memorable races in both the past (1982's surrealist comedy where pretty much everyone took it in turns to lead the race in the final couple of laps, stopping after 100 yards each) and the present (Raikkonen creaming the field in 2005 - and one of the most quietly classy passing moves of the season by Nick Heidfeld).
There's also the hilarious one-upmanship of the teams and their daft publicity stunts: the Red Bull 'Star Wars' pit crew last season who got so much extra coverage from the cameras that it was even more embarrassing than it need have been when both their cars dropped out. Or the Jaguars in 2004 with fabulous diamonds in their nosecones to promote 'Ocean's Twelve' - until Klien put his Jag into a barrier and the diamond was never seen again. Somewhere there's probably still a Marketing executive being punched in the windpipe every hour for thinking that one up....
And yet it's hard not to want to make an exception for Monaco - it DOES look very cool, it can thrown up spectacular moves and crunches as the grid powers into St Devote, the cars sound massive as they tear through the tunnel and out into the harbour...
Okay, I admit it. It IS glamourous. But only in a ludicrous way. Monaco is great because it typifies and magnifies the excesses of the Formula One world. If ever you wanted to distil the essence of F1 - money, egos, marketing and spectacle - you couldn't find a finer or more potent mix than Monaco.
As a race, it's pretty good (but I defy anyone to disagree that there's far better on the calendar - or NOT on the calendar in the case of Spa...) but as F1 it's brilliant.
Rubbish - most people's experience of the Monaco Grand Prix isn't glamourous at all: it's just sitting in front of a telly, shouting at interminable adverts and hurling abuse at James Allen.
Monaco always has some kind of Get Out of Jail Free card, and never gets a rough ride from the authorities despite the fact that it is the very opposite of everything they demand from every other event.
It's a narrow, unforgiving circuit that would be struck off the calendar in a flash for safety reasons if it were based anywhere other than the diamond encrusted cliffsides of Monte Carlo. And before I get taken for some raving communist let me just say I honestly don't mind that: I just think there are far better venues that get treated abysmally (Silverstone or Spa for instance) and I don't like double-standards.
That rant out of the way, Monaco has certainly staged some memorable races in both the past (1982's surrealist comedy where pretty much everyone took it in turns to lead the race in the final couple of laps, stopping after 100 yards each) and the present (Raikkonen creaming the field in 2005 - and one of the most quietly classy passing moves of the season by Nick Heidfeld).
There's also the hilarious one-upmanship of the teams and their daft publicity stunts: the Red Bull 'Star Wars' pit crew last season who got so much extra coverage from the cameras that it was even more embarrassing than it need have been when both their cars dropped out. Or the Jaguars in 2004 with fabulous diamonds in their nosecones to promote 'Ocean's Twelve' - until Klien put his Jag into a barrier and the diamond was never seen again. Somewhere there's probably still a Marketing executive being punched in the windpipe every hour for thinking that one up....
And yet it's hard not to want to make an exception for Monaco - it DOES look very cool, it can thrown up spectacular moves and crunches as the grid powers into St Devote, the cars sound massive as they tear through the tunnel and out into the harbour...
Okay, I admit it. It IS glamourous. But only in a ludicrous way. Monaco is great because it typifies and magnifies the excesses of the Formula One world. If ever you wanted to distil the essence of F1 - money, egos, marketing and spectacle - you couldn't find a finer or more potent mix than Monaco.
As a race, it's pretty good (but I defy anyone to disagree that there's far better on the calendar - or NOT on the calendar in the case of Spa...) but as F1 it's brilliant.
May 22, 2006
Simon Fuller Spices Things Up
Simon Fuller... Name ring a bell? How about if I mention the Spice Girls? No? Well, let me put you out of your misery (although I'm probably partly to blame for that misery by mentioning the Spice Girls in the first place)...
Simon Fuller is '19 Entertainment' and the man responsible for the Spice Girls and S Club 7 (I personally think it's very big of him to own up to that...) and he is also the man now responsible for bringing stacks of clever yooftastic funtainment to Honda Racing.
Quite who at Honda had the great idea of bringing in Fuller I don't know, though it has all the hallmarks of a particularly punchable marketing executive - and why it's so crucial when they should be concentrating on not weeing away their race weekends is simply beyond me.
Nonetheless there he is, ready to help bring modern showbiz tricks into the biggest showbiz sport in the world. Who knows, maybe his pop and entertainment formats can bring a new dimension to the way F1 is presented and to the way it appeals to audiences...
He could pull together shows like "Jenson's Deal or No Deal" where a panel have to guess how many of the boxes in front of them contain contracts between Jenson Button and any number of different teams (and whether any of them are worth the paper they're written on).
Or a special "Pimp My F1 Ride" where teams compete to build a more or less viable car from a 4-year old chassis with the aim of making it look utterly cool, so long as it still goes at least one lap per lap slower than everybody else.
I'd quite like to see a special F1 edition of Antiques Roadshow where a bunch of experts inspect Max Mosley and tell him he's worthless, (old gags, always the best...) or a variation on The Apprentice, where Mike Gascoyne goes round teams, helping them build better cars and repeatedly gets thrown out with the words "You're fired!"
Best of all they could do their own lottery show where random events and the fickle finger of fate conspire to... Oh, hang on, that's called Qualifying isn't it.
The Fuller/Honda relationship, and the Ron Dennis "More Fun!" statements both smack a bit of desperation; like some government initiative, or a lame geography teacher who wants to be loved.
Truth be told, F1 honestly doesn't need that (although the idea of an F1 version of Fuller's Pop Idol format would be good if only for seeing Ant Davidson cream a whole bunch of mediocrities from the 2006 grid). On the whole though, if the sport is good then everything else will follow.
And if it isn't good then no amount of superficial tarting like this is going to help.
Simon Fuller is '19 Entertainment' and the man responsible for the Spice Girls and S Club 7 (I personally think it's very big of him to own up to that...) and he is also the man now responsible for bringing stacks of clever yooftastic funtainment to Honda Racing.
Quite who at Honda had the great idea of bringing in Fuller I don't know, though it has all the hallmarks of a particularly punchable marketing executive - and why it's so crucial when they should be concentrating on not weeing away their race weekends is simply beyond me.
Nonetheless there he is, ready to help bring modern showbiz tricks into the biggest showbiz sport in the world. Who knows, maybe his pop and entertainment formats can bring a new dimension to the way F1 is presented and to the way it appeals to audiences...
He could pull together shows like "Jenson's Deal or No Deal" where a panel have to guess how many of the boxes in front of them contain contracts between Jenson Button and any number of different teams (and whether any of them are worth the paper they're written on).
Or a special "Pimp My F1 Ride" where teams compete to build a more or less viable car from a 4-year old chassis with the aim of making it look utterly cool, so long as it still goes at least one lap per lap slower than everybody else.
I'd quite like to see a special F1 edition of Antiques Roadshow where a bunch of experts inspect Max Mosley and tell him he's worthless, (old gags, always the best...) or a variation on The Apprentice, where Mike Gascoyne goes round teams, helping them build better cars and repeatedly gets thrown out with the words "You're fired!"
Best of all they could do their own lottery show where random events and the fickle finger of fate conspire to... Oh, hang on, that's called Qualifying isn't it.
The Fuller/Honda relationship, and the Ron Dennis "More Fun!" statements both smack a bit of desperation; like some government initiative, or a lame geography teacher who wants to be loved.
Truth be told, F1 honestly doesn't need that (although the idea of an F1 version of Fuller's Pop Idol format would be good if only for seeing Ant Davidson cream a whole bunch of mediocrities from the 2006 grid). On the whole though, if the sport is good then everything else will follow.
And if it isn't good then no amount of superficial tarting like this is going to help.
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