You could almost hear the collective "D'oh!!!" waking up thousands of families across the UK very early last Sunday morning, as F1 fans shouted their despair from downstairs, once again missing out on a crucial piece of race action - and this time possibly the most important moment of this year's championship as Schumi retired at Suzuka.
It's not the first time of course that ITV have dropped the ball in their television coverage of F1 this season; far from it - just another numbing low point in their poorly scheduled, ad-intensive product.
Actually I didn't totally miss Schumacher's crucial retirement as I was smart enough to be listening to Radio 5 Live, which boasts two major advantages for the serious F1 fan: firstly it features Maurice Hamilton, and secondly it doesn't feature James Allen.
In fact it frequently also features the excellent Anthony Davidson; as complete and comfortable (and expert) a pundit as he is a driver. (Whether or not Davidson gets a race seat next year is my acid test of whether there actually is a god or if the universe we live in is no more than a cruel and meaningless void).
It wasn't just the Japanese GP coverage that disappointed. Being an 'away' race it also meant that things like the crucial qualifying sessions got the usual careful ITV scheduling treatment, finally appearing on screen at the crack of mid afternoon on the Saturday.
I tell you if I had four digital TV channels at my disposal and had forked out a nebulous amount of money for the F1 broadcasting rights, I'd certainly make sure it took priority over the likes of 'The World's Funniest Animals' and re-runs of 'Emmerdale'.
When it comes to broadcasting Formula One on TV, you have to conclude that it's something that's far too important to be left to TV people. You also can't help but wonder whether the Beeb might even make a better job of this kind of thing nowadays: they certainly seem to take clever use of their portfolio of channels more seriously.
Match that with a lack of advertising breaks and you can imagine that it might be a seriously compelling proposition. Nonetheless, I still can't see any reason why commercial interests should make ITV's coverage such a pig's ear.
There are plenty of conceivable options as far as advertising in the F1 programming goes; from simply locking out adverts for the duration of the race (with more elsewhere), to leaving rotating web-style 'banners' on screen the whole time, or even allowing people to pay to 'opt-out' of watching adverts.
You could also look to a more heavyweight and complete sponsorship package of the whole product - or split it section by section. But you really need to take it all more seriously that ITV seem willing to do at present.
We've been here before, I know, but surely somebody needs to take Bernie aside and start talking about a proper multi-screen, pay per view, stand-alone channel, backed and produced by F1 experts.
Still; on we go to Sao Paulo for what could be an exciting and emotional end to the season, and to the end of Michael Schumacher's career. Anybody fancy a wager on whether they cut the post-race coverage short to show that repeat of the episode of 'Airline' where that bloke can't find his cello at luggage reclaim?
(*This article appeared in an edited form on Teletext on ITV; 16/10/2006)
Oct 23, 2006
Oct 15, 2006
Orders Please...
It's always 'glass half empty' for some people, isn't it? When things aren't going absolutely 100% or more their way they just glare at you like they're sucking on a lemon... Apart from when he actually won the Japanese GP, Fernando Alonso (possibly about to take his second WDC title) spent the last couple of weeks wandering around with a face like a slapped arse.
Have you ever seen anybody looking so grim? Look into his eyes and you'd have thought the prize was a wet weekend in Withernsea.
The reason, of course, is that he was equally close to NOT taking that title, and this is a sport where second is nothing more than the first of the losers.
Having said that, even Schumi, after losing his engine at Suzuka (and probably the championship at that very same moment) managed to go back to the pits and smile while shaking hands with all his crew. Okay it was a fake smile and it looked like someone had selotaped his lips back to his ears, but dammit at least he tried; and you know that at that moment he would - for all the gloss he might want to put on it - be heartbroken inside.
Still, at least it's not all doom and gloom in F1-Land...
One comedy gem (surely accidental as the team has been irony-free since the late eighties) is McLaren's announcement that they're branching out into selling a strategy software application for businesses, based on their own software which they use for race strategies.
For anyone who hasn't noticed; having failed to deliver at least two perfectly achievable titles in the last five years alone, the team is on the verge of its first win-less season since 1996. You just hope they don't mention that on the packaging...
Someone who certainly hasn't lost his sense of humour is Ferrari's Technical Director and Head of Bumptiousness Ross Brawn who, clearly seeing some kind of job in stand-up comedy during his forthcoming sabbatical year, demanded that other teams (that'd be Renault) 'play fair' as the season draws to a close.
To their eternal credit no teams actually responded to this; doubtless being far too busy wetting themselves, changing their underpants and then wetting themselves again.
If Brawn genuinely wasn't having funsies in his comments about fair play, then his utter lack of self-awareness clearly extends beyond the many, many antics of years past to such recent events as his star driver ignoring chicanes in Canada and Hungary, and trying to turn the Monaco circuit into the world's most expensive short-stay car park. Not to mention that 'blocking' nonsense at Monza.
Having said that, I must say I hope that Renault do go for team orders, and I hope Ferrari do likewise...
The stand-alone performance of cars hasn't really brought excitement to the sport this year; it's been the on and off track dirties and controversies, peculiar regulation changes and novel rule 'clarifications' that have driven the championship drama.
So I say go for it: Dastardly & Mutley in the Ferraris, Pinky & The Brain over there in the blue corner - do your worst; block, scheme, weave, whatever... All I'd ask is that we're open about it.
It's probably a bit late to expect team orders in Brazil, with Schumi now unlikely to claw the driver's title back; but with it still theoretically open to him you should never count him out. And if events turn his way, then a little bit of scheming could come in very useful.
I have to say I think it's the inherent dishonesty of covert orders and tactics that's the problem, not orders or 'out in the open' team strategies in themselves: maybe it's time the FIA revisited the subject, as it's a mess of their making - the usual indistinct murk of dos and don'ts that a legal brain like Max Mosley could surely make a better job of.
But then, as we all know, it's sometimes easier to clarify a poorly-written rule in somebody's favour rather than have them fall foul of a well-written one in the first place. Playing 'fair' - like most things - would be easier if the FIA had the mind to make it so. But they don't.
And as long as that's the case, there *will* be scheming and conning, dirties and tricks.
They just seem curiously content to leave it that way...
Have you ever seen anybody looking so grim? Look into his eyes and you'd have thought the prize was a wet weekend in Withernsea.
The reason, of course, is that he was equally close to NOT taking that title, and this is a sport where second is nothing more than the first of the losers.
Having said that, even Schumi, after losing his engine at Suzuka (and probably the championship at that very same moment) managed to go back to the pits and smile while shaking hands with all his crew. Okay it was a fake smile and it looked like someone had selotaped his lips back to his ears, but dammit at least he tried; and you know that at that moment he would - for all the gloss he might want to put on it - be heartbroken inside.
Still, at least it's not all doom and gloom in F1-Land...
One comedy gem (surely accidental as the team has been irony-free since the late eighties) is McLaren's announcement that they're branching out into selling a strategy software application for businesses, based on their own software which they use for race strategies.
For anyone who hasn't noticed; having failed to deliver at least two perfectly achievable titles in the last five years alone, the team is on the verge of its first win-less season since 1996. You just hope they don't mention that on the packaging...
Someone who certainly hasn't lost his sense of humour is Ferrari's Technical Director and Head of Bumptiousness Ross Brawn who, clearly seeing some kind of job in stand-up comedy during his forthcoming sabbatical year, demanded that other teams (that'd be Renault) 'play fair' as the season draws to a close.
To their eternal credit no teams actually responded to this; doubtless being far too busy wetting themselves, changing their underpants and then wetting themselves again.
If Brawn genuinely wasn't having funsies in his comments about fair play, then his utter lack of self-awareness clearly extends beyond the many, many antics of years past to such recent events as his star driver ignoring chicanes in Canada and Hungary, and trying to turn the Monaco circuit into the world's most expensive short-stay car park. Not to mention that 'blocking' nonsense at Monza.
Having said that, I must say I hope that Renault do go for team orders, and I hope Ferrari do likewise...
The stand-alone performance of cars hasn't really brought excitement to the sport this year; it's been the on and off track dirties and controversies, peculiar regulation changes and novel rule 'clarifications' that have driven the championship drama.
So I say go for it: Dastardly & Mutley in the Ferraris, Pinky & The Brain over there in the blue corner - do your worst; block, scheme, weave, whatever... All I'd ask is that we're open about it.
It's probably a bit late to expect team orders in Brazil, with Schumi now unlikely to claw the driver's title back; but with it still theoretically open to him you should never count him out. And if events turn his way, then a little bit of scheming could come in very useful.
I have to say I think it's the inherent dishonesty of covert orders and tactics that's the problem, not orders or 'out in the open' team strategies in themselves: maybe it's time the FIA revisited the subject, as it's a mess of their making - the usual indistinct murk of dos and don'ts that a legal brain like Max Mosley could surely make a better job of.
But then, as we all know, it's sometimes easier to clarify a poorly-written rule in somebody's favour rather than have them fall foul of a well-written one in the first place. Playing 'fair' - like most things - would be easier if the FIA had the mind to make it so. But they don't.
And as long as that's the case, there *will* be scheming and conning, dirties and tricks.
They just seem curiously content to leave it that way...
Oct 9, 2006
Down To The Wire
This season promised so much before it actually started. Then once the first flag dropped it fell into a drearily dull and predictable mulch before controversies like Michael's Monaco madness and the FIA's mass-damper ban threw things wildly up the air again, and brought us back towards something approaching a classic season finale.
But what's really brought the excitement back? Simple. H20. Buckets of the stuff at both Hungary and Shanghai. Best innovation of the year: rain!
Even things like the new qualifying system don't make for as much fun as the odd torrential downpour. The wet stuff separates the men from the boys; the boys tending to disappear sideways into the gravel (or sideways into DC in the case of Felipe Massa).
Hungary's spray-filled air was equally thick with chaotic excitement, and the 2006 Chinese GP was no different, with the sport's best brains going into overdrive to snatch every advantage from the treacherous conditions.
Shanghai not only showed Schumi at his best; keeping his head, constantly adjusting and waiting for things to come to him when he couldn't do anything else - it also showed Renault at its weakest; making an amateurish mistake of changing something that was working perfectly well, throwing Nando's race out of the window in a single pit-stop. (It wasn't the rear wheel change that was the real problem, it was changing wheels at all in the previous stop...)
Seeing the Michelin and Bridgestone tyres gaining and losing form, against each other and in ever-changing conditions, reminds you of what a dumb decision a single tyre supplier for 2007 is.
I'd have at least two suppliers - in fact, I'd prefer three or four. Tyres are so crucial these days and dropping all variation and competition is another drab, standardising piece of Max's dumbing-down jigsaw.
Wet races aren't just about tyres though, as the wildly differing wet-skills of Schumi and Nando at one end (masterful) and Massa and Speed at the other (on a par with my gran) show. And China wasn't just about skill either, as Kimi Raikkonen (having a blindingly good run) would surely testify.
He must be dying to get to Ferrari after five years of varying levels of frustration and outright despair - although he still has to go to Suzuka and Sao Paulo first to find out what fresh hell McLaren have in store for him there...
And now it's down to the wire. Two contenders, 116 points apiece with two races to go; one likely to favour Michelin runners and one likely to favour Birdgestone. You could see from Schumi's unfeasibly excited bouncing at Shanghai that he wants to walk away with both those races in his pocket, having broken his China duck.
Whether he will is of course unknowable. And strangely enough, I'm not actually that bothered. I just want it to rain. Lots. That way it'll be a finale where we all win...
But what's really brought the excitement back? Simple. H20. Buckets of the stuff at both Hungary and Shanghai. Best innovation of the year: rain!
Even things like the new qualifying system don't make for as much fun as the odd torrential downpour. The wet stuff separates the men from the boys; the boys tending to disappear sideways into the gravel (or sideways into DC in the case of Felipe Massa).
Hungary's spray-filled air was equally thick with chaotic excitement, and the 2006 Chinese GP was no different, with the sport's best brains going into overdrive to snatch every advantage from the treacherous conditions.
Shanghai not only showed Schumi at his best; keeping his head, constantly adjusting and waiting for things to come to him when he couldn't do anything else - it also showed Renault at its weakest; making an amateurish mistake of changing something that was working perfectly well, throwing Nando's race out of the window in a single pit-stop. (It wasn't the rear wheel change that was the real problem, it was changing wheels at all in the previous stop...)
Seeing the Michelin and Bridgestone tyres gaining and losing form, against each other and in ever-changing conditions, reminds you of what a dumb decision a single tyre supplier for 2007 is.
I'd have at least two suppliers - in fact, I'd prefer three or four. Tyres are so crucial these days and dropping all variation and competition is another drab, standardising piece of Max's dumbing-down jigsaw.
Wet races aren't just about tyres though, as the wildly differing wet-skills of Schumi and Nando at one end (masterful) and Massa and Speed at the other (on a par with my gran) show. And China wasn't just about skill either, as Kimi Raikkonen (having a blindingly good run) would surely testify.
He must be dying to get to Ferrari after five years of varying levels of frustration and outright despair - although he still has to go to Suzuka and Sao Paulo first to find out what fresh hell McLaren have in store for him there...
And now it's down to the wire. Two contenders, 116 points apiece with two races to go; one likely to favour Michelin runners and one likely to favour Birdgestone. You could see from Schumi's unfeasibly excited bouncing at Shanghai that he wants to walk away with both those races in his pocket, having broken his China duck.
Whether he will is of course unknowable. And strangely enough, I'm not actually that bothered. I just want it to rain. Lots. That way it'll be a finale where we all win...
Oct 2, 2006
Excursions & Chicanery
Some drivers find it very difficult to stick to the road these days. Here in the real world for example it's clearly too much like hard work for arrogant, slappable oafs who don't like boring things like pavements or zebra crossings to get in the way of a good mobile phone conversation.
Still you'd have thought that clever, talented, experienced and focussed F1 drivers would better understand the difference between 'road' and 'not road' wouldn't you...
Yep. And you would of course be wrong.
Tyre bosses complaining about the surface of kerbs at Monza hit a slightly surreal note: surely they should be concerned at how their tyres perform on the track itself, not off it - and hopefully that's where their drivers will be planning on keeping their car.
This isn't to belittle safety matters of course, but the best way of avoiding a meeting with a barrier is to actually drive on the circuit itself and not on kerbs, gravel or run-offs.
Concrete run-off areas may well be safer than gravel, but they are also something of a 'get out of jail free' card for drivers these days. You don't want harm to come to them, but at the same time you can't help feeling a price ought to be paid for going off track. Like not being able to get back onto it, for example.
Whereas once you would be bogged down in gravel and unable to continue, now there is no penalty from huge run-off aprons and you can just take a nice comfy excursion and pootle back on a few seconds later.
Beyond the matter of run-off areas, Michael Schumacher has been spearheading a campaign to make chicanes a thing of the past too, prompting a novel FIA "clarification" following the Hungarian GP that appeared to fly in the face of decades of perfectly understood, observed and upheld rules.
Actually it wasn't just Hungary: a lot of people seem to have forgotten that Schumi also left out any bits of circuit that didn't appeal to him in Canada earlier in the year, where he appeared to decide that he really just couldn't be arsed with the final chicane at all on a number of occasions.
You have to wonder why circuits actually bother with chicanes or white lines or kerbs - or basically a track - when all and sundry can drive wherever appeals to them with apparent impunity.
Having said that, now that all the grid have basically been told that, contrary to popular belief (and indeed rules) that you can block others by cutting chicanes, it will be interesting to see if any resulting lawlessness backfires on Charlie Whiting and the FIA...
Let's hope so.
Still you'd have thought that clever, talented, experienced and focussed F1 drivers would better understand the difference between 'road' and 'not road' wouldn't you...
Yep. And you would of course be wrong.
Tyre bosses complaining about the surface of kerbs at Monza hit a slightly surreal note: surely they should be concerned at how their tyres perform on the track itself, not off it - and hopefully that's where their drivers will be planning on keeping their car.
This isn't to belittle safety matters of course, but the best way of avoiding a meeting with a barrier is to actually drive on the circuit itself and not on kerbs, gravel or run-offs.
Concrete run-off areas may well be safer than gravel, but they are also something of a 'get out of jail free' card for drivers these days. You don't want harm to come to them, but at the same time you can't help feeling a price ought to be paid for going off track. Like not being able to get back onto it, for example.
Whereas once you would be bogged down in gravel and unable to continue, now there is no penalty from huge run-off aprons and you can just take a nice comfy excursion and pootle back on a few seconds later.
Beyond the matter of run-off areas, Michael Schumacher has been spearheading a campaign to make chicanes a thing of the past too, prompting a novel FIA "clarification" following the Hungarian GP that appeared to fly in the face of decades of perfectly understood, observed and upheld rules.
Actually it wasn't just Hungary: a lot of people seem to have forgotten that Schumi also left out any bits of circuit that didn't appeal to him in Canada earlier in the year, where he appeared to decide that he really just couldn't be arsed with the final chicane at all on a number of occasions.
You have to wonder why circuits actually bother with chicanes or white lines or kerbs - or basically a track - when all and sundry can drive wherever appeals to them with apparent impunity.
Having said that, now that all the grid have basically been told that, contrary to popular belief (and indeed rules) that you can block others by cutting chicanes, it will be interesting to see if any resulting lawlessness backfires on Charlie Whiting and the FIA...
Let's hope so.
Sep 25, 2006
TV Times
Congratulations to Sky One for finally applying TV's current fad for cretinously formulaic celebrity based competition shows to Formula One; or at least to a driving show featuring David Coulthard and Eddie Irvine.
But while I generally welcome the chance to see more F1 drivers on telly I'm not convinced that some hideously contrived motor racing offspring of 'The Match' and 'Project Catwalk' (imaginatively called 'The Race') is necessarily the way to go.
Between the Grands Prix themselves (whose television coverage in the UK seems to revolve largely around Jenson Button) there isn't a great deal to keep the F1 fan occupied; no TV version of Autosport magazine or F1 Racing for instance (although I wouldn't be surprised if some featherbrained exec at ITV Sport is thinking about starting up a rolling 24-hour Jenson Button interactive news channel at this very moment).
One intermittent show that's worth looking out however is 'Inside Grand Prix' over on Motors TV (Sky).
'Inside Grand Prix' is a sponsor-based show (Williams partner Allianz being that sponsor), that is therefore a teensy bit team-biased, but nonetheless has loads of fascinating interviews and also useful technical articles with excellent 3d graphics.
Unfortunately, having originated in German and with variable production values, the voiceovers and graphics often don't seem to match, and with a narrator who always sounds as if he's reading the script at gunpoint it's a pretty peculiar viewing experience at times.
I always thought that extending the old Bernievison digital TV channel beyond its GP coverage to become a full-time F1 channel with news and documentaries, season reviews, classic races and historical profiles would be an excellent proposition.
That would be hugely unlikely though, given that there aren't even plans to bring back the original channel itself that I know of. But if any billionaire out there is planning on doing it, just email me and you'll have your Director of Programming sorted.
In the absence of any full-blooded F1 telly schedule though, we can at least give two and a half cheers to ESPN Classic Sport for running genuinely classic Grand Prix races from decades gone by on their channel each weekend. It's a feast for the eyes: cars that actually looked different to each other, thrilling racing, dangerous looking run-off fencing and quite terrifying haircuts. Well worth a look, honestly...
Apart from that, and short of Jenson starring in another series of 'I'm At Honda, Get Me Out Of Here!' it may be that 'The Race' is the best we can expect for now. Until the season ends - and we have nothing at all.
But while I generally welcome the chance to see more F1 drivers on telly I'm not convinced that some hideously contrived motor racing offspring of 'The Match' and 'Project Catwalk' (imaginatively called 'The Race') is necessarily the way to go.
Between the Grands Prix themselves (whose television coverage in the UK seems to revolve largely around Jenson Button) there isn't a great deal to keep the F1 fan occupied; no TV version of Autosport magazine or F1 Racing for instance (although I wouldn't be surprised if some featherbrained exec at ITV Sport is thinking about starting up a rolling 24-hour Jenson Button interactive news channel at this very moment).
One intermittent show that's worth looking out however is 'Inside Grand Prix' over on Motors TV (Sky).
'Inside Grand Prix' is a sponsor-based show (Williams partner Allianz being that sponsor), that is therefore a teensy bit team-biased, but nonetheless has loads of fascinating interviews and also useful technical articles with excellent 3d graphics.
Unfortunately, having originated in German and with variable production values, the voiceovers and graphics often don't seem to match, and with a narrator who always sounds as if he's reading the script at gunpoint it's a pretty peculiar viewing experience at times.
I always thought that extending the old Bernievison digital TV channel beyond its GP coverage to become a full-time F1 channel with news and documentaries, season reviews, classic races and historical profiles would be an excellent proposition.
That would be hugely unlikely though, given that there aren't even plans to bring back the original channel itself that I know of. But if any billionaire out there is planning on doing it, just email me and you'll have your Director of Programming sorted.
In the absence of any full-blooded F1 telly schedule though, we can at least give two and a half cheers to ESPN Classic Sport for running genuinely classic Grand Prix races from decades gone by on their channel each weekend. It's a feast for the eyes: cars that actually looked different to each other, thrilling racing, dangerous looking run-off fencing and quite terrifying haircuts. Well worth a look, honestly...
Apart from that, and short of Jenson starring in another series of 'I'm At Honda, Get Me Out Of Here!' it may be that 'The Race' is the best we can expect for now. Until the season ends - and we have nothing at all.
Sep 18, 2006
Goodbye, Farewell... Michael Bows Out
So farewell then Michael Schumacher: MS, Schumi, Schu, Rainmaster (and many other names, kind and unkind, bestowed on you across a long and amazing career). You're finally going, and with your exit you're ushering in a new age.
No matter exactly how you feel about Schumacher - and lord knows there must be a million wildly differing points of view, mostly extreme at one end or the other of the love/hate spectrum (he's a man who does not particularly inspire any middleground) - you can't deny that the sport will be a different, and probably lesser, animal without him next year.
To fans of German stereotyping Michael Schumacher is the Red Baron; a two-dimensional caricature of cold, clinical attitude, arrogance and villainy. To Motormouth he's the Red Herring; a fascinating layered creature of all kinds of misunderstood and misleading traits and messages.
He's not invulnerable, he's not always great in the rain, he's not always brilliant under pressure or in traffic. If he was perfect he'd be boring. But he's not - and that, given the greatness of his achievements, makes him far more interesting.
Jacques Villeneuve's comments that Schumi will be forgotten are clearly wide of the mark under any plain interpretation, although the extended direction of the comments - that he may not always be remembered perhaps for the best reasons - is probably less contentious.
JV was of course on the receiving end of one of Schumi's more famous dastardly and desperate split-second 'dirty tactics', and is probably better placed than many to give a first hand account of the person we're dealing with.
Michael Schumacher actually retained something of a dignified silence over Villeneuve's pot-shots, and probably isn't too worried by what JV thinks of him: when all's said and done, for whatever reasons (and they will include several impressive world records) he will be remembered far longer than JV in any case.
He's probably also aware that those achievements will be forever bundled with controversy and mixed feelings. And he probably won't be in the slightest bit bothered by that either. To Schumacher winning has always been everything - the rest is mere static.
Some hardened Schumacher fans go ape if you suggest that his sportsmanship may be less than perfect (suggesting they're either forgiving to a fault, a bit thick, or possibly registered blind) - and especially if you bring up driving into people or walls for tactical advantage.
Why so defensive? Surely you have to admire the ambition and psychology of someone who can think at that scale and at that speed? It may be dirty, and it may be cheating sometimes, but it's an astonishing gift nonetheless; and let's not forget how drab this season was until Monaco...
And so here we are; looking back at a 15-year F1 career laden with many amazing records: 7 World Championships, 90 GP wins, 153 podiums, 68 poles, 1354 career points, 22 hat-tricks of pole, fastest lap and victory - which makes comparisons with drivers of a different age redundant.
Schumacher is a creature of a very modern F1; something reflected in his achievements as much as his weaknesses. However much you love or loathe him, you cannot deny that a huge talent is departing - one which has almost single-handedly defined an F1 era.
(*This piece was originally screened on TV following the announcement of Schumacher's retirement)
(*Career stats correct after Italian GP - 10/09/06)
No matter exactly how you feel about Schumacher - and lord knows there must be a million wildly differing points of view, mostly extreme at one end or the other of the love/hate spectrum (he's a man who does not particularly inspire any middleground) - you can't deny that the sport will be a different, and probably lesser, animal without him next year.
To fans of German stereotyping Michael Schumacher is the Red Baron; a two-dimensional caricature of cold, clinical attitude, arrogance and villainy. To Motormouth he's the Red Herring; a fascinating layered creature of all kinds of misunderstood and misleading traits and messages.
He's not invulnerable, he's not always great in the rain, he's not always brilliant under pressure or in traffic. If he was perfect he'd be boring. But he's not - and that, given the greatness of his achievements, makes him far more interesting.
Jacques Villeneuve's comments that Schumi will be forgotten are clearly wide of the mark under any plain interpretation, although the extended direction of the comments - that he may not always be remembered perhaps for the best reasons - is probably less contentious.
JV was of course on the receiving end of one of Schumi's more famous dastardly and desperate split-second 'dirty tactics', and is probably better placed than many to give a first hand account of the person we're dealing with.
Michael Schumacher actually retained something of a dignified silence over Villeneuve's pot-shots, and probably isn't too worried by what JV thinks of him: when all's said and done, for whatever reasons (and they will include several impressive world records) he will be remembered far longer than JV in any case.
He's probably also aware that those achievements will be forever bundled with controversy and mixed feelings. And he probably won't be in the slightest bit bothered by that either. To Schumacher winning has always been everything - the rest is mere static.
Some hardened Schumacher fans go ape if you suggest that his sportsmanship may be less than perfect (suggesting they're either forgiving to a fault, a bit thick, or possibly registered blind) - and especially if you bring up driving into people or walls for tactical advantage.
Why so defensive? Surely you have to admire the ambition and psychology of someone who can think at that scale and at that speed? It may be dirty, and it may be cheating sometimes, but it's an astonishing gift nonetheless; and let's not forget how drab this season was until Monaco...
And so here we are; looking back at a 15-year F1 career laden with many amazing records: 7 World Championships, 90 GP wins, 153 podiums, 68 poles, 1354 career points, 22 hat-tricks of pole, fastest lap and victory - which makes comparisons with drivers of a different age redundant.
Schumacher is a creature of a very modern F1; something reflected in his achievements as much as his weaknesses. However much you love or loathe him, you cannot deny that a huge talent is departing - one which has almost single-handedly defined an F1 era.
(*This piece was originally screened on TV following the announcement of Schumacher's retirement)
(*Career stats correct after Italian GP - 10/09/06)
Sep 11, 2006
Radio Ga-Ga
If anybody tells you there's nothing good on radio anymore, they're talking rubbish, because they've clearly not heard any of the F1 team radio conversations, and are really missing out on something as a result.
Obviously I'm not talking about Schumi's transmissions (sadly I can only recall hearing him after the event, thanking pretty much everyone who lives near Maranello in gooey Oscars-style speeches: I'd much rather hear his in-race machinations and strategising). No, as ever, it's the inadvertent stuff that's really revealing.
In Turkey team radio taught us that Christijan Albers doesn't actually understand the qualifying system that he competes in; asking the crew how many go through to Round Two and should he stay in the car (they probably cut off the bit where he asked what circuit he was at and which team he was in...)
But it's not just newbies like Albers that hand out listening pleasure to fans in front of their tellies, there are some mighty (and mightily unexpected) drivers embarrassing themselves over the airwaves.
Renault team radio transmissions for instance are just pure comedy gold. You have to wonder if it's some deliberate unsettling tactic the way they keep humiliating Giancarlo Fisichella by always broadcasting clips of him being told he's nowhere near fast enough, to basically get a grip, and why can't he drive as well as other people do.
Granted, over the past couple of years Fisi has had no problems humiliating himself perfectly well without the aid of his pit crew, but you have to admire the verve with which they've thrown themselves at the job; falling only the slightest bit short of actually shouting "Fisi... You're crap... repeat, you're crap... Over..."
One of the funniest guys on team radio is actually World Champion Fernando Alonso, praised to the skies by commentators for being so perfectly balanced and rational. Yet he's the man who shrieks things like "Did you see what he did?????" and "But I can go faster than him!!!!!", sounding for all the world like South Park's Eric Cartman throwing a wobbly.
He's also the man who at the 2005 Canadian GP radioed in complaining that his car didn't seem to have the right balance; presumably unaware that this is one outcome of having driven it into a wall.
Possibly the most revealing bit of radio was at last year's Turkish GP where Raikkonen swept to victory, fully expecting Montoya to help cushion his points against Alonso. The message from the pits that JPM had goofed, letting Nando through was followed by a silence so huge that it threatened to drown out the engine.
Raikkonen is a man of few words (and mostly incomprehensible at that). But, as his title challenge ebbed further away, no words at all said everything.
Obviously I'm not talking about Schumi's transmissions (sadly I can only recall hearing him after the event, thanking pretty much everyone who lives near Maranello in gooey Oscars-style speeches: I'd much rather hear his in-race machinations and strategising). No, as ever, it's the inadvertent stuff that's really revealing.
In Turkey team radio taught us that Christijan Albers doesn't actually understand the qualifying system that he competes in; asking the crew how many go through to Round Two and should he stay in the car (they probably cut off the bit where he asked what circuit he was at and which team he was in...)
But it's not just newbies like Albers that hand out listening pleasure to fans in front of their tellies, there are some mighty (and mightily unexpected) drivers embarrassing themselves over the airwaves.
Renault team radio transmissions for instance are just pure comedy gold. You have to wonder if it's some deliberate unsettling tactic the way they keep humiliating Giancarlo Fisichella by always broadcasting clips of him being told he's nowhere near fast enough, to basically get a grip, and why can't he drive as well as other people do.
Granted, over the past couple of years Fisi has had no problems humiliating himself perfectly well without the aid of his pit crew, but you have to admire the verve with which they've thrown themselves at the job; falling only the slightest bit short of actually shouting "Fisi... You're crap... repeat, you're crap... Over..."
One of the funniest guys on team radio is actually World Champion Fernando Alonso, praised to the skies by commentators for being so perfectly balanced and rational. Yet he's the man who shrieks things like "Did you see what he did?????" and "But I can go faster than him!!!!!", sounding for all the world like South Park's Eric Cartman throwing a wobbly.
He's also the man who at the 2005 Canadian GP radioed in complaining that his car didn't seem to have the right balance; presumably unaware that this is one outcome of having driven it into a wall.
Possibly the most revealing bit of radio was at last year's Turkish GP where Raikkonen swept to victory, fully expecting Montoya to help cushion his points against Alonso. The message from the pits that JPM had goofed, letting Nando through was followed by a silence so huge that it threatened to drown out the engine.
Raikkonen is a man of few words (and mostly incomprehensible at that). But, as his title challenge ebbed further away, no words at all said everything.
Sep 4, 2006
Max Mosley's Homologation Game
Homologation. Crazy word, crazy concept. When I first heard Max Mosley pompously rolling it around in his mouth at a press conference I almost ruptured something inside (as I did when I first heard Lloyd Grossman coin the term "Tudorbethan" on Through The Keyhole).
Sadly though (and in a large part due to Mosley and the FIA), F1 is often now less exciting to watch than Through The Keyhole, and homologation could help drag the sport further into some new kind of dumbed-down dark age.
Homologation; the freezing of engine development, is yet another gem in Max's plans for the utter ninnyfication of the sport - and now apparently something as inevitable as it is undesirable.
The original arguments on freezing specifications and altering the longevity of engine were always framed as 'cost saving'- a worthy, yet probably untrue and certainly improbable justification.
The cost per unit of an engine is nothing compared to the full-blown development costs of an engine package. By moving his very very expensive goalposts around from v10 to v8, to lasting two weekends, then one, and to now move to a stage from whence they are frozen, Max clearly doesn't bring down costs - the budgets of small countries could probably be swallowed up in that kind of work.
Huge lunges at development and redevelopment against radically shifting rules are surely far more costly than ongoing development in a single direction.
Homologation seems yet another shift towards some peculiar Mosley-esque vision of a sport that dares to be the pinnacle of its kind by cutting back on technology, power, innovation and ooomph.
Yes... Ooomph. That thing certain car manufacturers refer to as Va Va Voom. F1 used to have it in spades - and by definition it should continue to have it in spades... bigger spades each year quite frankly.
What next? Limited V4s? Dragging down engine power and technological imagination may work for some things (though I have no idea what) but that doesn't make it right for F1. That way madness lies: It's already a sport, and it's called lawnmower racing.
To some, the 2008 landscape may be fantastically rational and as sensible as a pair of nylon slacks, but that's not why I watch F1. And as far as I'm aware it's not why most of us watch F1. To me its future looks pretty backward. If it regresses any further, it'll probably be classed as "Tudorbethan".
Sadly though (and in a large part due to Mosley and the FIA), F1 is often now less exciting to watch than Through The Keyhole, and homologation could help drag the sport further into some new kind of dumbed-down dark age.
Homologation; the freezing of engine development, is yet another gem in Max's plans for the utter ninnyfication of the sport - and now apparently something as inevitable as it is undesirable.
The original arguments on freezing specifications and altering the longevity of engine were always framed as 'cost saving'- a worthy, yet probably untrue and certainly improbable justification.
The cost per unit of an engine is nothing compared to the full-blown development costs of an engine package. By moving his very very expensive goalposts around from v10 to v8, to lasting two weekends, then one, and to now move to a stage from whence they are frozen, Max clearly doesn't bring down costs - the budgets of small countries could probably be swallowed up in that kind of work.
Huge lunges at development and redevelopment against radically shifting rules are surely far more costly than ongoing development in a single direction.
Homologation seems yet another shift towards some peculiar Mosley-esque vision of a sport that dares to be the pinnacle of its kind by cutting back on technology, power, innovation and ooomph.
Yes... Ooomph. That thing certain car manufacturers refer to as Va Va Voom. F1 used to have it in spades - and by definition it should continue to have it in spades... bigger spades each year quite frankly.
What next? Limited V4s? Dragging down engine power and technological imagination may work for some things (though I have no idea what) but that doesn't make it right for F1. That way madness lies: It's already a sport, and it's called lawnmower racing.
To some, the 2008 landscape may be fantastically rational and as sensible as a pair of nylon slacks, but that's not why I watch F1. And as far as I'm aware it's not why most of us watch F1. To me its future looks pretty backward. If it regresses any further, it'll probably be classed as "Tudorbethan".
Aug 28, 2006
Button It!
When Jenson Button won his maiden Grand Prix victory in Hungary, there was talk in the media of him getting "the monkey off his back". As monkeys go, it must have been about the size of King Kong's dad - and ironically it was largely placed there by the media and press themselves.
I don't think I know of any other British F1 driver who has had to endure the constant pressuring and prodding Button has received over the past seasons. Not Hill, not Mansell, not Hunt... Nobody.
The press have undoubtedly become more hyperactive, cynical and bruising in their treatment of sports stars and celebs over recent years, and it must surely be unenviable to not only have to excel in what you do but also traipsy through the minefields of the British media's ever more spiteful 'Build em up, Knock em down' mentality every day of your life.
Button has so far managed remarkably well (a couple of self-induced PR disasters aside); and you can only hope that his first GP win isn't a cue for them to pile on more pressure.*
I used to think Button was little more than an ego in overalls (and there's nothing wrong with ego in itself - obviously you need it in spades in this sport). But I've softened. Over the past year or so I've warmed to him and even felt quite sorry for the coverage he gets.
When I say 'coverage' I include 'favourable' coverage. So complete is ITV's craven love-in with him in its F1 programming that a number of my friends actually refer to it as the Jenson Button Show. And that's a great shame as it alienates people who would like to like him.
Race after race, coverage on telly and in the papers revolves around him while the title battle lies elsewhere: it's as if there's some appalling fascination with building him up every fortnight just to beat themselves up when it all goes skew-wiff; Hungary being a very welcome change.
At some point you can imagine that Jenson courted the media to raise his profile and PR. And probably rightly so: Anthony Davidson might well have a race seat by now if he were a better media whore and PR nut.
The problem with attracting all this attention though is these things always turn out very Faustian. The press don't court him because they love him, they do it because he's useful to them.
He'll be equally useful as a hate object when they tire of him too. Hopefully Jenson and his advisers are now skilled and mature enough to rise above all that nonsense as they shift from 'he'll never win' to 'one win wonder' to 'F1's great briton' to 'F1's brit has-been'.
As they surely will.
(*Footnote: True to form, ITV's Turkish GP coverage lurched onto the screen with a huge great Jensonvision tribute that lasted the best part of twenty minutes. Way to go guys!)
I don't think I know of any other British F1 driver who has had to endure the constant pressuring and prodding Button has received over the past seasons. Not Hill, not Mansell, not Hunt... Nobody.
The press have undoubtedly become more hyperactive, cynical and bruising in their treatment of sports stars and celebs over recent years, and it must surely be unenviable to not only have to excel in what you do but also traipsy through the minefields of the British media's ever more spiteful 'Build em up, Knock em down' mentality every day of your life.
Button has so far managed remarkably well (a couple of self-induced PR disasters aside); and you can only hope that his first GP win isn't a cue for them to pile on more pressure.*
I used to think Button was little more than an ego in overalls (and there's nothing wrong with ego in itself - obviously you need it in spades in this sport). But I've softened. Over the past year or so I've warmed to him and even felt quite sorry for the coverage he gets.
When I say 'coverage' I include 'favourable' coverage. So complete is ITV's craven love-in with him in its F1 programming that a number of my friends actually refer to it as the Jenson Button Show. And that's a great shame as it alienates people who would like to like him.
Race after race, coverage on telly and in the papers revolves around him while the title battle lies elsewhere: it's as if there's some appalling fascination with building him up every fortnight just to beat themselves up when it all goes skew-wiff; Hungary being a very welcome change.
At some point you can imagine that Jenson courted the media to raise his profile and PR. And probably rightly so: Anthony Davidson might well have a race seat by now if he were a better media whore and PR nut.
The problem with attracting all this attention though is these things always turn out very Faustian. The press don't court him because they love him, they do it because he's useful to them.
He'll be equally useful as a hate object when they tire of him too. Hopefully Jenson and his advisers are now skilled and mature enough to rise above all that nonsense as they shift from 'he'll never win' to 'one win wonder' to 'F1's great briton' to 'F1's brit has-been'.
As they surely will.
(*Footnote: True to form, ITV's Turkish GP coverage lurched onto the screen with a huge great Jensonvision tribute that lasted the best part of twenty minutes. Way to go guys!)
Aug 21, 2006
Instant Car-ma: Punishment & Just Desserts
I got to thinking about summary justice when re-watching a 'Season Review' of 1982 a few days ago. If you're familiar with the season you may recall an incident between Nelson Piquet and Eliseo Salazar at Hockenheim...
A simple lapping move came unstuck when the Chilean clumsily nurfed Piquet straight through a tyre barrier. The Brazilian leapt out of his car and flew at Salazar in a spectacularly inept hybrid of kick-boxing and bitch-slapping. Fantastic stuff.
I couldn't help but think that you simply don't see that kind of thing anymore. More's the pity. The closest we got recently was Schumi rapping on Sato's helmet at Spa last year, telling him he "needed therapy".
And given how drab and dull the 'racing' tends to be these days, surely we should be glorying in any action that we can salvage from the sport. We should even demand that incidents and disputes are settled in public for our entertainment, not by stewards behind closed doors.
Surely the Scott Speed Australian GP episode would have been better settled Springer-style; Speed sending the 'bleep' machine into overdrive with rabid tirades, till DC jumps up from his chair and lands a Glasgow Kiss on the insolent upstart and gets dragged away by bouncers in front of whooping fans?
Springer, Trisha, Kilroy, Judge Judy... there are dozens of summary justice formats that would be perfect for settling F1 disputes. All of them more exciting than any race this year.
Kilroy's whispering, patronising tone would have been perfect for defusing Michael's Monaco faux-pas; the orange-skinned presenter sidling up to him, jamming a microphone in his petulant face and saying, "Hhmmmmkay, they all say you're a cheat: How does that make you feel?"
And can you imagine how effective a crowd invasion of the podium in Austria 2002 would have been in helping inform Ferrari's number one driver and strategists on the pros and cons of team orders?
Justice in F1 has certainly improved in both visibility and consistency with the introduction of permanent stewards, but there's still a long way to go as the oddly matched penalties for Alonso and Schumacher at Hungary clearly showed.
The more immediate, open and impactful that a penalty can be, the better: they never impede genuine racing and sportsmanship - but simply reinforce the line over which you don't step.
And if they could find a way to bring back the kick-boxing too, then I think the sport can only benefit.
A simple lapping move came unstuck when the Chilean clumsily nurfed Piquet straight through a tyre barrier. The Brazilian leapt out of his car and flew at Salazar in a spectacularly inept hybrid of kick-boxing and bitch-slapping. Fantastic stuff.
I couldn't help but think that you simply don't see that kind of thing anymore. More's the pity. The closest we got recently was Schumi rapping on Sato's helmet at Spa last year, telling him he "needed therapy".
And given how drab and dull the 'racing' tends to be these days, surely we should be glorying in any action that we can salvage from the sport. We should even demand that incidents and disputes are settled in public for our entertainment, not by stewards behind closed doors.
Surely the Scott Speed Australian GP episode would have been better settled Springer-style; Speed sending the 'bleep' machine into overdrive with rabid tirades, till DC jumps up from his chair and lands a Glasgow Kiss on the insolent upstart and gets dragged away by bouncers in front of whooping fans?
Springer, Trisha, Kilroy, Judge Judy... there are dozens of summary justice formats that would be perfect for settling F1 disputes. All of them more exciting than any race this year.
Kilroy's whispering, patronising tone would have been perfect for defusing Michael's Monaco faux-pas; the orange-skinned presenter sidling up to him, jamming a microphone in his petulant face and saying, "Hhmmmmkay, they all say you're a cheat: How does that make you feel?"
And can you imagine how effective a crowd invasion of the podium in Austria 2002 would have been in helping inform Ferrari's number one driver and strategists on the pros and cons of team orders?
Justice in F1 has certainly improved in both visibility and consistency with the introduction of permanent stewards, but there's still a long way to go as the oddly matched penalties for Alonso and Schumacher at Hungary clearly showed.
The more immediate, open and impactful that a penalty can be, the better: they never impede genuine racing and sportsmanship - but simply reinforce the line over which you don't step.
And if they could find a way to bring back the kick-boxing too, then I think the sport can only benefit.
Aug 14, 2006
Are The Days Of Passing Past?
To me, one of the saddest indictments of modern F1 is Fernando Alonso's post-race comment at the European GP: "After my second stop, I just turned down the engine to look after it for next weekend... I think second place is a fantastic result from this race."
Well, quite frankly, I don't. I think it's a cop-out and a disgrace: it cheats Alonso's fans and everyone elses'. Have they paid good money to see their heroes sit back and tootle along when they should be roaring on to the flag? No - patently they have not.
Can you imagine the outrage there would be if David Beckham said "Well, we'd scored that first goal Desmond, so we thought we'd just arse around for the rest of the match... you know, take it easy like. Brilliant, eh?"
I can - and if he did, I'd be first in a very long queue to kick him in the shins. And I don't even follow football. But if any sportsman feels that it's somehow okay to insult their fans so brazenly, then I'm sorry but they need a very serious reality check. Involving slaps.
The current lack of full-on racing and overtaking isn't really Fernando's fault of course. It's the fault of engine and tyre rules, aerodynamics, carbon brakes, all kinds of things. Most of which can be laid at the big, posh, Parisian doorstep of the FIA.
It's their regulations that continue to allow, and encourage, passing in the pits - and race strategies that avoid any actual 'racing'. If they can't understand what a disappointment that is to the average fan then they don't deserve to run the sport.
Reducing downforce whilst re-introducing slick tyres for more mechanical grip is all very well, but the real clincher can only be the outright ban of traction control and similar electronic driver aids, making all crucial manoeuvring a matter of driver skill.
The FIA also apparently plan to bring in a split rear wing, though designers from the teams seriously doubt its effectiveness. Still, at least it was notable as one of those few occasions when the FIA actually asked for the teams' opinions before completely ignoring them.
Just as crucial as the cars are the circuits: how often this year have you heard commentators say "this isn't an overtaking circuit"? Well if it isn't, then why is it on the calendar? Someone needs to get an expert group of drivers renowned for 'racing' together to make them good overtaking circuits.
Let's face it: who should know better how to do that? Overall the sport surely still needs serious measures to improve itself if it's going to survive. And wouldn't be great if it were saved by its stars rather than its masters?
Well, quite frankly, I don't. I think it's a cop-out and a disgrace: it cheats Alonso's fans and everyone elses'. Have they paid good money to see their heroes sit back and tootle along when they should be roaring on to the flag? No - patently they have not.
Can you imagine the outrage there would be if David Beckham said "Well, we'd scored that first goal Desmond, so we thought we'd just arse around for the rest of the match... you know, take it easy like. Brilliant, eh?"
I can - and if he did, I'd be first in a very long queue to kick him in the shins. And I don't even follow football. But if any sportsman feels that it's somehow okay to insult their fans so brazenly, then I'm sorry but they need a very serious reality check. Involving slaps.
The current lack of full-on racing and overtaking isn't really Fernando's fault of course. It's the fault of engine and tyre rules, aerodynamics, carbon brakes, all kinds of things. Most of which can be laid at the big, posh, Parisian doorstep of the FIA.
It's their regulations that continue to allow, and encourage, passing in the pits - and race strategies that avoid any actual 'racing'. If they can't understand what a disappointment that is to the average fan then they don't deserve to run the sport.
Reducing downforce whilst re-introducing slick tyres for more mechanical grip is all very well, but the real clincher can only be the outright ban of traction control and similar electronic driver aids, making all crucial manoeuvring a matter of driver skill.
The FIA also apparently plan to bring in a split rear wing, though designers from the teams seriously doubt its effectiveness. Still, at least it was notable as one of those few occasions when the FIA actually asked for the teams' opinions before completely ignoring them.
Just as crucial as the cars are the circuits: how often this year have you heard commentators say "this isn't an overtaking circuit"? Well if it isn't, then why is it on the calendar? Someone needs to get an expert group of drivers renowned for 'racing' together to make them good overtaking circuits.
Let's face it: who should know better how to do that? Overall the sport surely still needs serious measures to improve itself if it's going to survive. And wouldn't be great if it were saved by its stars rather than its masters?
Aug 7, 2006
"Our Survey Says..."
There can be few things in this godforsaken life more unwelcome than random market surveys... Explosive diarrhoea perhaps. Accidentally slamming your bits in a filing cabinet, or fracturing your coccyx. Or possibly the idea of ITV's James Allen following you around with a microphone, commentating on your entire life. But probably not much else.
One exception though, would have to be a survey about your life's passion, which purports to be useful and interested in your opinion but is nothing of the sort. Say hello to the FIA/AMD 2006 Survey of F1 fans.
At such a crucial and pivotal time in the sport's history you'd have thought a definitive and official survey of fans might weigh heavily on matters of purpose and principle; on the sport itself. But no. What we got was a succession of questions about podcasts and mobile phones.
Whether we download boredomcasts of the latest joyless, life-sapping F1 processions onto our watches or whatever is frankly irrelevant compared to whether we want overtaking and thrills and racecraft, or whether we should be allowed to remove Max Mosley by popular vote.
Given that last year's survey unsurprisingly identified the Spa circuit as a massive favourite amongst F1 fans, you'd have thought any responsible and responsive sporting body would not then allow that circuit to be thrown off the following year's calendar.
But you'd be reckoning without the spectacular ability of F1 to shoot itself in both feet whilst stabbing itself in the back (and probably a few other self-destructive cliches on top of that). So we lost Spa and yet another lesson from the 2005 survey went unlearned.
And what's this fixation with mobile phones? - they're for ringing people (or subjecting them to craptacularly annoying music on public transport if you live where I do, apparently) - not for watching GPs: can you honestly say there's any value in pratting around with mobile when they can't even get TV right?
If I'm going to be asked about how I want to watch F1, I want to be able to give answers like "in full, no adverts", "on a dedicated interactive TV channel", "all race weekend", and "on the edge of my seat, which currently isn't possible thanks to you idiots."
Sadly though, the FIA/AMD survey - as it was last year - appears to be little more than an exercise in getting the likes of you and me to tick boxes once they've already decided what outcome they want.
If you filled in the survey, then what can I say? that's 15 perfectly good minutes of your life you won't ever be getting back. It may seem cynical to take such a dim view when our opinions are being asked for, but when everything's as irrelevant or loaded as this survey suggests, then surely it means that the FIA take an equally dim view of us.
One exception though, would have to be a survey about your life's passion, which purports to be useful and interested in your opinion but is nothing of the sort. Say hello to the FIA/AMD 2006 Survey of F1 fans.
At such a crucial and pivotal time in the sport's history you'd have thought a definitive and official survey of fans might weigh heavily on matters of purpose and principle; on the sport itself. But no. What we got was a succession of questions about podcasts and mobile phones.
Whether we download boredomcasts of the latest joyless, life-sapping F1 processions onto our watches or whatever is frankly irrelevant compared to whether we want overtaking and thrills and racecraft, or whether we should be allowed to remove Max Mosley by popular vote.
Given that last year's survey unsurprisingly identified the Spa circuit as a massive favourite amongst F1 fans, you'd have thought any responsible and responsive sporting body would not then allow that circuit to be thrown off the following year's calendar.
But you'd be reckoning without the spectacular ability of F1 to shoot itself in both feet whilst stabbing itself in the back (and probably a few other self-destructive cliches on top of that). So we lost Spa and yet another lesson from the 2005 survey went unlearned.
And what's this fixation with mobile phones? - they're for ringing people (or subjecting them to craptacularly annoying music on public transport if you live where I do, apparently) - not for watching GPs: can you honestly say there's any value in pratting around with mobile when they can't even get TV right?
If I'm going to be asked about how I want to watch F1, I want to be able to give answers like "in full, no adverts", "on a dedicated interactive TV channel", "all race weekend", and "on the edge of my seat, which currently isn't possible thanks to you idiots."
Sadly though, the FIA/AMD survey - as it was last year - appears to be little more than an exercise in getting the likes of you and me to tick boxes once they've already decided what outcome they want.
If you filled in the survey, then what can I say? that's 15 perfectly good minutes of your life you won't ever be getting back. It may seem cynical to take such a dim view when our opinions are being asked for, but when everything's as irrelevant or loaded as this survey suggests, then surely it means that the FIA take an equally dim view of us.
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